I don't know where I'm going but I'm on my way.

conservative me

2012-02-18T02:38:00.005+08:00

i just got back from melepak at mamak's with Azrul. i wished we could spent more time talking more to each other while having supper , and azrul suprisingly remained calm even though hours before we met, i was acting cranky and when he fetch me, i was still sulking and his being romantic by feeding me his food as i didn't order anything. boy, that works, woman is completely attention seeker !! LOL. I was so happy with that but something happened that makes both of us leave mamak earlier than expected.

we were sitting at outside table, at the parking lot. then came few youngsters sitting at the table behind us. after awhile, i saw parents with few kids, arrived and at that time i was " selambanya bwk bdk2 kecik melepak kat luar at this hour" . it was already after 1 am at that time. and bdk2 tu yg plg kecik i guess around Alia's age, 2 years mcm tu and other siblings like all below 6 years old. there are few kids. but then okla, mase i complaint pun i just complaining dlm hati. both of us keep on talking and suddenly this kids running to my table and i was like dah start rasa bengang. bdk yg plg kecik tu keep on running and her sister keep on kejar die, i know that kid at that age mmg susah nak handle, like Alia, sng je nak terlepas kalau kita jaga, and derang blh dissappear in any seconds je. that 2 years kid tu then terlepas lagi from her sister's hand then lari ke arah jalan which is there were a lot of cars in and out and at that time i was like close to shout dah. sbb sgt takut kalau ade kereta langgar. even youngsters belakang kitaorg pun dah siap mcm nak bgn sbb panicked kan. nasib her kakak managed to kejar and grab her little sister;s hand.

after that, aku pun mulalah start being me again, bengang dgn sikap parents mereka yg brought their kids to this kind of place at this hour. like seriously, 1 am in the morning ? they should be in bed !! i will never bring Alia out like this. kids should be treated like kids, they should be protected, bkn let them live life like adults. seriously stupid, i really against this inappropriate way to bring up your kids. dahla bwk anak2 kluar at 1 am mcm tu kat mamak, penuh dgn asap rokok bagai, lps tu they dont even taking care to the children pun, bodoh gila okay! bila aku dah start bengang, azrul cant stay calm already haha, he trus "jom balik" . we passed by their parents table and i saw derang tgh makan dgn hebatnya, and the stupid mom said to her big daughter " jaga adik elok2" . what the fuck i heard that !!!!. bila takde anak, nak anak, bila ada anak , ya Allah... tolonglah jaga dgn sebaiknya. kalau nak bersuka ria kat luar pun laki bini, tgkla condition dulu, sapa yg kau bawak, tempat yg sesuai dan masa. kalau dinner time, acceptable la in condition kau cari la table inside, and that bdk kecik duduk dlm babychair. seriously, bengang. im so against all of this thing.

i remembered last time i lepak kat Murni around supper time, ade this parents brought together their baby serious i rasa cam 3 4 bln baru, stupid gila. murni tu lgla environment tu totally NOT suitable for baby. dgn bising, kotor, asap rokok and the most important thing tgh malam kot. silala sedar diri, ksian gila kat baby tu. asyik nangis2, and mak die keep on kluar masuk kete sbb baby asyik nangis. of courselaa.. tlglah be civilized skit. konon modern parents la, bwk baby kluar mlm2, and lepak kat that kind of place. oh please !!

you can call me conservative , and i totally dont mind. i strongly believe, kids should be treated like a kids and it is our responsible to protect them and decide what is the best for them.

you can say easy for me to say this kind of things, coz im not even married and have kids. but i do have nephew and nieces. i treat them according to their age. taught them the best lesson and educate them when they do wrongs.

lucky Kampung girl

2012-01-14T00:58:00.003+08:00

i still want to talk about reader;s digest. now i wonder how on earth my father found out about this magazines and even subscribed it. come to think about it, i feel proud and lucky Kampung girl :)

we live in a very small town. basically i grew up in a place that only a basic things like school, clinic, shop, police station etc etc. we dont even have a proper bookstore at that time. and to have RD sell at my hometown was something that very very impossible. i dont recall i see one when i was still pretty much there.

my father, i believe he dont know how to speak English because i never heard him speaking in my life. I never see him reading something in English. I never see him watching english movie. but his favourite tv program is Wrestling :). I believe he do understand english, probably basic conversation and basic instruction. He is a teacher anyway. Until now i am not very sure either he can speak english, or read english. i dont know. i dont know, really.

and how my father got to know about this magazine, and found it very useful and meaningful for all his children to read, i feel amazed. i remember him, almost every weekend travelling back and forth to Kuantan for his "usual" routine . Probably during one of those weekend in Kuantan, he found out about this. maybe someone promote it to him. maybe he do read it first than found it was a really good magazine. i am not sure.

the only thing, for sure, i never see him reading Reader's Digest even he is the one who subscribed it. my father, he is mysterious that way.

thanks mr google

2012-01-14T00:05:00.002+08:00

one of my new year's resolution is not to buy those fancies so called fashion magazines anymore. Does people in this century still practice having resolution on a new year ? I still do, believe me. I do have the list. I am 29, and still found that having the list of what we want to do and what we want to achieve is the best way to make sure i do not stray from the right track.

every month, without failed, i always find myself at the bookstore, browsing magazines and bought all this female, fashion magazines like i was a fashionista or something that i need to catch up on what;s IN now. all those years i have been blind and i ashamed of that. when i look back all those magazines that i bought , hundreds dollars has been spent, i realize how ignorant i am. I could use that hundreds to buy something more meaningful. so i decided to stop buying those magazines at all. i am determine. money wise-checked. lagha wise=checked LOL. thanks mr google.

i am always a fan of reader's digest. my father subscribed this magazines when i was still at school and i just love to read it. basically, i love to read something about life, people's experience, autobiography,history , its really inspiring you know. and i could never find any other magazine like reader's digest. the size, it is practically like a novel, a book.

but i dont know what happened. i stop buying RD, instead i bought more fashion magazines. i must be crazy. i guess, work divert me to look for something more fun and relax for my past time. but i do realize it is just a temporary happyness. it is so much different, the feeling i got once i finished read every article in RD. i feel content, i feel inspired and i am much more happier after reading it. So i found myself back craving for RD after i bought their Classic Edition last Christmas. It complete my year end holidays at home with my parents and family :).

period

2011-10-30T00:23:00.002+08:00

i am longing to the beach, to the island, to the breathtaking view. i am longing to swim deep into the sea, touch the coral, breath a little breath. i am longing to see the other world, the castle, the beautiful things when i swim into the deep sea.

i need to get out from this place.

ignorance, no ?

2011-10-29T15:36:00.002+08:00

when i was at Giant this morning, i encountered something that makes me feel shamed.

i looked for Express Counter to pay my things. there are 2 express counter, so i queued behind this malay lady at one of the counters. earlier i saw the other lane, already have someone queuing behind one group of 3 people. so while i was waiting, i noticed that actually this 3 people, mind you they are malay and adult, 2 men and 1 lady , they were paying their groceries, full in one trolley in express counter ! Ya Allah, what;s up with these people? are they really stupid that they doesn't know that they are at express counter, which is clearly stated for 10 items and below.

seriously, i feel so shamed on their behavior. and i was really angry at the cashier, because she failed to inform this morons that they were in wrong lane. and this morons, happily laughing and talking without feel any guilty to the person behind them. shame shame shame

untitled

2011-10-29T13:03:00.002+08:00

i cook today. i was craving to cook the whole week . there were times, once i reached home from work i really feel like cooking something, the rush and eager to cook , i cant describe it well. so finally this very beautiful morning, i went to Giant bought chickens and lada to cook Bihun sup :). my all time favorites. now i am so full and happy, turn on my tv and writing this. relaxing after so many things happen to me this few months.

it is funny , the way i ease my stress and depression. i always find cleaning the whole house and toilets give me the best feeling ever ! even i didn't cook for so many months, i still cleaning my kitchen, mopping the floor and whatnot whenever im at home during the weekend.

it is weird, almost a month i didnt go back to rompin, it feels so weird. my sister heading hometown today, but i don't want to tag along. why ? i don't have the answer.

trust me, there were so many sad things happen to me. I do feel very lost sometimes. i kinda live in very pathetic life right now. but who am i to complaint and whining? i am still very much a lucky person with all the goods thing Allah give to me. but one tend to forget that. So please be grateful.

Untitled

2011-10-23T00:50:00.003+08:00

Walau aku tidak bersamamu
Jangan engkau lupakan diriku
Walau aku tiada di sisimu
Jangan engkau lupakan namaku

Kerana
Aku mengingati mu
Kerana
Aku men’cintaimu

Andai aku
Bisa bertemumu
Dengan senyum ku tadah syukurku
Andai aku bisa menyentuhmu
Air mata pasti deras gugur

Kerana
Aku merindui mu
Kerana aku sentiasa
Menyintaimu oh sepenuh hati

Walau kamu
Jauh di mataku
Jangan aku hilang dalam kalbu
Saat kamu samar mengingati
Jangan aku terus kau lupakan

Kerana aku
Sentiasa mengingatimu
Kerana aku
Sentiasa menyayangimu oh kekasih hati

Andai aku bisa memelukmu
Pasrah aku tabah diujimu
Andai aku bisa dicintai
Dengan rela menyerahkan hati

Kerana
Aku merindui mu
Hmmm Kerana aku sentiasa menyintaimu

my amazing love of my life

2011-08-18T22:50:00.005+08:00

my beloved father got into accident last weak and i was freaking like hell. never in my life , i feel this extremely worries. he was alone and that accident happened right in front of MOSQUE'S GATE !!! he was on his way to mosque to perform asar. he was being banged by a car at the back, and his MPV turn 360 degree, he hit the big pili pipe and crashed the freaking signboard. the car that hit his, terpelanting ke dalam parit :(. and there was a baby inside the car. it hurts me if i wanna tell the details. i was crying and crying the whole night when i received sms from Hana about this incident. i didnt call mom. i was so worried.

my father's sight become worst day by day. now he is no longer can read normal quran. and it started right the 1st day of ramadhan. and i was really hurt when mom told me that my father no longer can read the his quran coz he really cant see anything. so we bought him a very big quran. the giant size, as a gift to him. and he is such a happy old man, he can read the quran back :). i am happy too. when he failed his assessment and didnt get approval from UIA expert for his eye surgery , he always said that, he dont mind if he cant see anything as long as he still can read quran. seriously if u ask me, i dont know how my father can survive, he is still driving and working like nobody business.

he is 71 years old, he still doing more than any man at his age doing. he is handling his ladang everyday, mind you we are talking about a very very big ladang kelapa sawit here :(.doing the baja thingy, kutip buah , even we have workers, but he still wanna do it a bit. he will go to mersing every 2 weeks, for his business affair. as president perkim for rompin, he will go to kg2 pendalaman org asli for berdakwah , and doing events for the muallaf, islamic class and such... and for God's sake , kg org2 asli itu adalah tersgt pendalaman :(. he also doing project for rumah org2 miskin for Risda, and his is really running here and there to deliver the best for this projects. even he got worker, my father is not that typical mandur , that only come to supervise and arah2, he will involve from a to z. not that he is doing the construction works, but hmmm i dont know how to tell. and this is the 3rd year, he is doing his Umrah project, to get as many as he can, people in Rompin to perform Umrah with him. thats the way he doing dakwah. he makes most of the org2 kg ni easy , because he settled most of the things, passport, medical check up, even my father give umrah class for them. and he is doing this not for mengaut keuntungan. not at all. dont misunderstand this. he didnt take any payment of his effort. last year he brought 40 ppl to Mekah. and i was so proud of him. he is only helping these old folks, that they do have a lot savings, peniaga ikan di pasar, pekebun, org2 kg, yg have thousand of rm in the bank but they dont know what to do. and most of them have really lack of knowledge about islam, some cannot read quran, they wanted to learn but dont know how. so thats why most old folks really glad my father doing this, coz they trust him and at the same time my father can guide them :). and actually the list goes on..........too many to write. itu tak masuk kisah his business partner, someone well known in our politic arena, dont want to let him go. my father wanted to resign, but this well known person doesnt trust anybody else in rompin except my father. he really have difficult times to choose my father's replacement. so my dad stay. i really adore my father, i wanted my future husband can be like him.

i am seriously damn susah hati to think about my dad's condition. he is actually well, healthy man but only he having eye problem. sooner or later , he will be blind :(. the fact that we need to face. so he is really having limitations to be here and there. mom dah jd peneman setia ke mana2, but when the accident happen my mom was not with him :(. so now, he is hiring a driver after the incident. finally, rasa sgt lega, we were proposing this ever since , but he doesnt want to listen. now what we need to do is to make him hire someone that he trust, to be his assistant.

anyone jobless , wanna try ?

on adapting

2011-08-09T23:09:00.003+08:00

im adapting to my new job really fast. i am constantly getting compliments from my manager on my work. no time for me to relax as i straight away working. training while doing work. one thing i can say is, HP taught me well. worth my 5 years there. that is the main reason why im getting good at doing my work. i just know what to do, what to write in email, what to escalate, what to talk in the meeting, what to present... i just know. even if i dont know, i still know that the fact i dont know :p.

even im adapting really fast in terms of work, but im not yet adapting with the colleagues. i just talk with people sit next to me, i dont mingle around with other ladies in my team. i dont know why. they also doesnt seem want to be friend with me. im not good at approaching people. i wanted people to approach me. so i dont have any good and close friend yet. lucky that these guys around me always have something to say and to talk. they are always teasing and bullying me. i am fine with that. but me also doesnt feel like mingle around as well. not just yet maybe.

well i dont know. thats why i really pray that youknowho will get place in my company :)

of being me

2011-08-09T22:36:00.002+08:00

it has been more than 1 month i moved to new company. i like it just fine, i dont want to compare, and i dont even want to complaint. not just yet :p. i feel ungrateful if i whining, i just feel bad. to be able to change job and being offered a good position and very good salary, it such a bless for me. i thank Allah so much for the rizki.

in less than 2 months, i spent almost 2k or maybe slightly more than 2k doing shopping, in cash. i just buy whatever i want to buy, mostly on new clothes, as now i can go casual everyday to office, so i definitely need more casuals. i bought heels and pumps for me and my sisters, i bought handbags for me and for my mom, i bought gift to my parents, i went to alamanda during lunch hour to buy jeans and the list goes on. yes i decided to spend this 3 months just for shopping !! and later savingla.....

i wanted to buy new fridge, the bigger one. the old one that i bought from gedek that cost me 200 looks very old. and i wanted to buy new couch , the L seater or 2 seater with grandfather chairs. i just love it. its all in my list now but i guess need to wait after raya.

i wanted to buy a house, but i dont have the guts, since im not married yet. i always wanted a very big house, even it is terrace , i wanted it to be big and spacious. but my father said, buy house after you get married and i feel sad. so i decide to buy condo or service apartment first, but i dont have time to go for house hunting and with who. i am really such a pathetic girl. i want to buy a house, but i dont want to get involve with all the procedures and the details, i want someone to do it for me :-s. sounds complicated.

currently i crave for something new. i feel like i want to buy a new car. its keep playing in my mind. seriously i am so want to have new car. but for what ? car is always a liability, i know it very well. i keep talking about this to azrul, i think he get annoying by now. he said its totally up to me for the decision but he asked me to think twice. he said he got better plan for us. but i dont know if i want to believe him or not. can i have peugoet or volkswagen ?

unnecessary worries

2011-08-09T21:42:00.002+08:00

i met my old friend during my uni time at my new company. actually we bumped into each other at surau, so we chat a little bit. then she asked me about my boyfriend, she said she saw one album full of my boyfriend pictures in facebook. and i was like huh ? i think i never have one personal album dedicated to azrul, i even dont have and didnt keep many pictures on him pun, i wouldnt want to count as i believe it is definitely less than 10 , even our picture together pun confirm 100% is less than 10 as well. so how come she said i have one album of my boyfriend. its weird, then she mentioned Shaif's name , and i was laughing like mad. so all this while she thinks shaif is my boyfriend. if she can think like that, its definitely most of my friends think shaif is my boyfriend :p.

when she said this, i remember one time, azrul told me that he sad because i have one album of shaif in my facebook. he sad it hurts him. i defend myself, i said i created the album and uploaded shaif's pictures long way back before i even know him. plus i didnt say anything mislead on the caption of the album neither the pictures, so i dont think its wrong. plus he knows the truth i dont have any special interest on shaif only that i just quite close with him for some reason. so for me it is unnecessary worries. now comes to think about it, i will probably delete that album so that people dont misunderstand me. well, i dont really know. perhaps i just remain it that way.

i dont care

2011-06-24T15:41:00.002+08:00

today, i just want to lock myself in my room. not wanting to go out and talk to my parents or my siblings. all i want is to connect to cyber world. seriously i dont know why i am really depress nowadays, particularly today. trust me, i have a lot of conflict, isnt it sad.

i realized the more i keep coming back to my hometown and spend more time with my parents and my family, the more i open and expose myself to get hurt. u know , family drama. and someone will definitely get hurt. the victim . i dont know if i the real victim or i am pretending myself as a victim.

i dont care , i dont care, i dont care . honestly saya sgt kecik ati dgn parents saya. tp rasa berdosa plak ade perasaan mcm tu . but yes, sgt sedih and kecil hati . they dont care about me, no one cares about me :(

i am not suppose to have this feeling

2011-06-24T13:59:00.002+08:00

but i am just human. i am just a daughter, a girlfriend, a sister. i deserved this feeling.

i accidentally found this one blog and found it interesting to read. i HAVE so much of free time, so i read. and little did i know that her situation is similar to mine. really , i feel like read my own story wrote by someone else. so true so honest, that is exactly what i feel now or situation i am in now, only that i dont write it in the blog. i do talk about the problem that i facing to my close friends but it is not in very details, i just said 50% of it, the rest i keep to myself. yes i am still secretive as ever.

if you can guess, the similarity i found in that blog is about her relationship with her boyfriend, now husband. she just got married last month.

honestly .. i really dont know our status now. i thought we break up. i believe we break up. i always wanting to break up, and i always asked for that because i cant stand it anymore. we fight everyday since i dont know when. we cant talk on the phone, end up we will fight. we cant meet, coz it will end up fighting. even we are far from each other , we also fighting. there is always something wrong somewhere, always a wrong words at a wrong time. when i am cooling down, he is not. when he is, i am very still boiling. its tiring and its frustrating. i lose my patience to wait for him. but he is very much and firmly never want to let me go, and never want to lose me. he wants to marry me. he said he will still come to meet my parents even though we break up. you know , when we fight, we really fight, we scold and yell to each other. we use bad words. i use bad words. i never use bad words to any other person in this world except him. i swear. ppl that knows me, know that i dont do mouth fighting, i dont normally fight back. but with him, i fight, i cursed and i am totally a very bad person ever exist in this world.

i even declare myself as single coz i really thought finally we break up and all i ever want is to move on. and some kepochi guys, called him and asked what happened. and poor him, he really have no idea. he said to his friend, yes we fought but we are still together. and he texted me asked about that. and yes we fought back.

we are always fighting like never ending. but in between, everyday without fail even we are still fighting, in the morning, he will text me asking if i already wake up, or asking what my mom cook for that day. now coz i've been away in rompin for so long and even before i went back to rompin , we dont really go dating, he sometimes call me when he is at work and ask when i coming back to kl coz he really miss me. i told him if I come back to KL and to him he need to promise me that no more fight. he promised me. but later at night, we fought back. it hurts. he keep doing his daily routine, will call me everytime he finish work and before enter his house. it is sad coz he still acting like normal.

i dont blame him on this . on why our relationship is really not in a good condition. i am selfish person either. i dont like things if it is not follow my way. he said i am so ego and hard headed woman. he said he found its hard for him to make me listen to him. and yes i dont really listen to others, normally i just listen to myself. but i learned and i am change so much to adapt to his life, to his background and to his mentality. but im pretty think that i still need to keep and save my ownself so i know i am strong and independent and smart and i dont rely to others. he said i dont understand him, he said that million times. at the same time he said i am the most understanding person that he ever met, that can control him, that can ease him when he tempered, that my advise and opinions he will accept and follow. so i confused. i dont really know what actually he thinks of me. what i know he really love me, he never ever let me go.

all i ever wanted is to have your attention, to be there for me when i need you, to understand that i do sometimes breakdown and cry and weak. i am not strong as what you are think i am.

all I need is a fresh start. Back to the basic. come flirt with me again, be the sweet, wonderful person I fell in love with.

do you know where are you going to ?

2011-06-21T23:58:00.002+08:00

its funny how i always want to celebrate my farewell with HP, the way i always imagine, meeting everyone to say goodbye, having a proper farewell lunch with different circle of friends, having "me" time at my workstation, reminisce those years i went through, take pictures with my favorites but indeed this is what i decided . its weird tho.

yes, indeed i decide to spend more time with my parents. I've been here in rompin since last week and i decided to just work from rompin till end of this week ):. and i am glad i decided this. i can imagine that life will never be the same anymore after this. i will not be able to have this kind of privilege to just doing my work anywhere i want. i know i will not be able anymore to work and at the same time be with my parents at my hometown. so here i am utilize to the max the privilege that i've been given to decide this and let go of my dreams. i am such a happy girl . Alhamdulilah

if you asked, what i really feel now . honestly , i just want to leave HP as soon as i can. i think the clock ticking very slow. its such a long wait and i just want to move on for the next challenge. Never crossed my mind that this is actually what i feel when my time finally comes. I can never put it in a proper words or explain the details. But the feeling is like you really just want to get out and move on. Its like when you graduated and you just cant wait to land at your 1st job, and the memories of your uni life and graduation time slowly faded from your view. it is very still there but it no longer excite you. you were just thankful you've been there, met people lucky enough met few people that you wanted them to be close to you and the years of ups and downs.

its like i am drown in the ocean and all i ever wanted is to breathe the air all over again, to see the clouds and to be able to live. i am too long in my comfort zone, sometimes i do feel not wanting to move because i just feel so comfy, i don't want to leave this place. that is what i called living in denial. honestly now i realized reason why sometimes i do having that feeling is because i am afraid if i can survive and perform and success at the new place. i always know, that doesn't meant you success at wherever you are right now, you will definitely success at other place also. that scares me. i am not saying that i am totally ready for my new job, but i am just cant wait to start and face the challenge. I don't care if i make mistakes, or i stumble and i cry ...come what may... InshaAllah, i will do my very best ):

i do think this is the sign of growing up .

on being patience

2011-06-16T00:52:00.003+08:00

i really hope and pray June is going to end soon. never thought June can hurt me so much, it leaves wound in my heart. the feeling, if it happen someday, one fine day in future, will never be the same anymore. the excitement, probably is gone forever.

i wish july is tomorrow. so i can just move on, and start resume everything that i put on hold for quite sometimes. for the sake of hoping and wishing.

dear you, sorry i cant wait anymore. if we are really meant for each other, inshaAllah, the time will come. but for this moment, let me heal my sadness searching for my lost soul.

i am back to my own journey. ALONE ):

you cant sit still, you got to move

2011-04-28T21:55:00.000+08:00

so for pretending that i dont have problem with my weight, i just stop myself from exercising and my watever calories rule that i have in my mind this week.

so for some stupid reason, i do not take oat for my breakfast this week, my oat tumbler that i used to use and bring it to office seems gone missing. i didnt take effort trying to find the missing tumbler or even go buy the new one.

so for this week, i just feel hopeless. and i just cant help to really looking forward to having a week at Rompin with my adik2. having them as a company so i will not be freaking alone and lonely like i used to feel whenever i choose to just work from Rompin.

so for always me being me . i will always have something to say about something.i thought something that i want to say is always end up being unsaid. i thought i just want to keep it a little longer. but i was wrong. i;ve changed. i just couldnt wait coz i've been taught and been treat for almost a year that i must said and make it clear about my feeling, about my thoughts, about my opinion, about my solution, pratically i;ve been taught to say whatever i want to say, whatever in my minds, to say about my rights, to always confront things. never hide your feeling.

so for really following what i;ve been taught, i just say something that i swear i will never want to say in the first place. i cant beleive i said it. i cant believe after i said it, i just wish i can talk more and say more. but it doesnt seems right thats why i stopped in the middle of the conversation.

so for really being honest and said the right things based on my thinking, feeling and observation i should be glad. but i dont. i do feel relived, because at least, part that burdening me is gone, at least half of it. but it is more frustrating to see the face that i've talked turns into the saddest face i ever see.

so now, im typing this while im blaming myself for just being selfish.i dont have a choice. i got and need to say it after all. maybe the timing is just not right. i dont know. i will never know when is the right timing. but one thing i know, the truth is always hurt.

when she loved me

2011-04-19T01:28:00.002+08:00

sbnrnya hari ni aku sgt tak keruan... actually today aku masak ayam kfc, sbb tepung ayam goreng tu aku check expired date die adelah esok. so aku pun before g miting td, kluar beli 4 ketul ayam (sungguh haloba padahal aku mkn sorang2 je) and masak ayam itu, nasi aku beli sebungkus kat kedai hihi. tak taula aku sgt craving makan ayam, aku terbayang kfc tp sbb aku nak puasa dr makan fast food aku pun selongkar dapur jumpala dgn tepung adabi yg dah berkurun lamanya aku beli. have any one pernah try makan kat Resto Surabaya? ayam penyet die sedap tau, not like ria or api. and die punye menu varies skit. resto surabaya aku makan kat dpn sunway pyramid. sblh tu ayam penyet ria. tapi biasalah tak pernah2 la aku blh makan ayam 4 ketul kan dlm sehari , so ade lagi satu aku dah x mampu nak abiskan ... maka esok je la makan huhu. dahla hari ni mood sgt malas so aku end up asyik baring je atas katil layan internet .sungguh tak berguna. keje ofis jgn ckpla. satu pun aku x buat, semua vijay yg buat lol.

baju pun bertambun tak basuh... rumah pun bersepah , berhabuk semua la lengkap. skrg decide utk duduk sorang2 je. tak serabut tak pening kepala. later2 la cr another housemate. dont know why i just love duduk dlm gelap. las tuesday rumah aku kena potong letrik, tapi dgn selambanya aku stay je kat rumah tu tak g pun menumpang tdo kat my sister's house sbb malas, boleh? sbb aku mmg biasakan diri aku tdo bergelap, without lampu tidur or apa2 cahaya, so aku xde masalah lansung bab bergelap tu, cuma panasla. and i am so lucky enough mlm tu tahap kepanasan agak suam2 kuku. so xdela aku sgt resah tak blh tdo, tp bile bgn pagi mmg konfirm berpeluh2 :p.

actually a lot of things aku kena buat . but i havent start anything pun. susahla coz everything in my mind, i dont even write it in paper pun. i need to properly organize la supaya semua bende yg dirancang can be done properly. tapi tahap kemalasan aku skrg mmg x dpt ditandingi sesiapa pun. dan byk jugak bende kena pk and tau .... my project DIY lagi. dont know where to start like seriously .

fickle minded and i am seriously homesick .

I am all about caring. I have always been like that.

2011-04-19T00:01:00.002+08:00

i am being more creepy day by day . bila pikir2 blh tak rasa seram dgn diri sendiri oleh kerana itu tak pepasal tgh2 mlm2 ni aku consume 120kcal now arghhhh. i am suppose to lose my weigth kan , but for 2 days there is not even calories out for me, all in ^-^.

hari sabtu hr tu adalah plg menakjubkan, sbb aku beramazing race seharian hanya berbekalkan sekeping roti sara bagi dan air kotak milo. lps tu dgn hebatnya aku beracing dgn bdk2 ni sampai la kul 4 ptg gtu kot. mmg rasa lapa gila, tapinya tak lalu nak makan. otw balik tu, dgn kadar cipan aku sgt craving makan ayam dgn byk, so sgtla terbayang nasi arab .... beria je aku plan nak makan nasi arab sbb nafsu serakah makan dtg dgn hebatnya, bila osman dtg gaduh besar la plak . maka aku pun suruh je la die antar aku balik rumah wpun dah sampai kedai makan. so ended up mlm tu aku lsng tak makan apa2. nasib aku x pengsan sorang2 kat rumah tu ^-^. hampeh tul la ... the next day tu aku hanya dpt makan kul 5 ptg okay , lagi sadis. ye la aku dr puchong, then g keramat, pastu sbb tujuan aritu adalah kena g subang, maka si osman ni buat keputusan nak makan kat subang mak aii.. aku rasa cam dah blh sewel dah sbb kelaparan... nasibla bab2 jln ke subang ni aku mmg expert, so dlm mase 15 mins je dah sampai sana utk makan #@$#%$%^&. dahla aku dah banned ROTI dr rumah aku since aku mengamalkan calories diet ni ( ni nama aku letak sendiri ya :). so basically mmg aku dah x de bende nak mkn melainkan oat . nak masak2 , aku mmg dah lama la tak masak utk diri sendiri. malas gila lgpun takde mood masak utk sorang, cam agak wesii123 disitu. so sbb tu aku hanya depends kat roti je.

bykla perubahan aku yg aku rasa since aku counting aku punye daily calories input. aku rasa the best way kot coz at the same time aku blh amalkan pemakanan yg sihat gtu. except my lunch, other meals yg aku consume mmg aku akan count the calories. i bring my own food now to office, like seriously kan... i will never thought i will do this. i bring oatmeal, fruits (so far i just bring apple) and few sachets of green tea. now i just took oat for my bfast, no more malaysian style of breakfast, and after every meal i will drink green tea to help with my metabolism. and fruits for evening snacks to prevent my self to go buy biscuits or bread to munch :p. but i do sometimes go for tea break and having roti bakar yg dirindui :).

i dah kenal pasti food apa yg aku slalu makan dulu menyebabkan aku blh gemuk tanpa disedari, adalah bcoz of hot choc and roti. even mlm2 for dinner i dont eat rice , tapi aku replace it with a mug of cadbury hot choc and roti okay. tapi mug of hot choc tu mmg wajib before going to bed... and u just dont know how much amount of choc yg aku letak coz it sgt sedappp gilaaa, im going crazy. tp rupanya calories die sgt tinggi gila okay.... dahla last time i sgt jaranggggg exercise so skrg aku terpaksa melupakan kesedapan cadbury hot choc tu and replace it with milo. milo calories die far more less than cadbury tu. i admit i can never go a day without minum air yg berasaskan chocolate. sungguh tak bermakna gtu rasanya hidupku without a glass of chocolate. mcm org yg tak blh having a day without coffee la gtu. last time there are always calories in, but obviously no calories out ... so now i understand the mantra very well :). i will just let myself loose on lunch time (mari makan apa sahaja and obviously now with more vegetables) and during weekend. if weekend dinner pun i took heavy dinner jugak if im going out, if im not, i just stick with my routine. so now fruits pun dah x pernah putus. i just like go to this Uncle's shop and buy fresh fruit from his shop. normally i bought apple, bananas, pears and mango. tapi mango die masamla yekk.

so after work bila mlm, i just eating more fruits, and my gre3n tea. and i am happy with it. fruits mmg bagus utk hilangkan rasa lapar lol. but still ade limitation jugak nak makan buah kan. i constantly drink 3 cups of grean tea at least per day. after breakfast before lunch, after lunch, and before going to bed. i heard it helps with losing weight... but for me the oatmeal really help with my metabolism :). so now i think so far i am just happy with this menjaga pemakanan punye tiap. coz i do take rice, eat like normal only that i count my calories , cutting out mana yg patut. so now even jogging and go to dance class pun i dah tak rasa semput sgt.

skrg aku maintain kan exercise at least 3 times in a week. lgpun in my daily routine, aku akan turun naik tangga 4 tingkat sebanyak beberapa kali in a day, rumahku tiada lift, and since i walk a lot from parking to my office, so it counts as my exercise jugakkan :). and seriously , after amazing race tu, i takde experience body aching lansung, yes mmg penat gila of course la kan, tak besar plak la hp campus ni kan.. tp my body doesnt aching. i just feel good, so thats why people we need to constantly exercise kan so body tak terkejut bila tiba2 kena buat bende2 lasak. i learnt it from my experience. mase 1st time ikut osman g jungle trekking, my legs shaking like hell tau br like 10 mins walk, sgt teruk, sbb tak biasakan, siap almost nak nangis and i rasa mcm nak pitam and mcm2 la lagi padahal not even 15 mins kan... lps balik tu tak yah ckpla sgt sakit2 badan cam kena pukul je. tp now Alhamdulilah i dont experience that kind of things anymore. even i do feel letih and semput mase exercise but i always know i am fit to finish it hihi. so determine mcm tu.

and as reward someone bought me a bicycle coz i dah sgt rajin exercise hehehehe. now i am looking forward plak utk cycling to the lake at my neighbourhood , biasanya i just go there naik kete wpun tak sampai 2 minit je, tapi malaskan nak jln kaki, so i drive then br joggging :p

thanks to kakak LG (salam2benua) bcoz of her la, i now aware of my calories intake and do wise diet .. die la yg byk guide on how to lose weight dgn makan yg sepatutnya and exercise regularly . every thing yg i bought skrg i can check on calories punye kandungan dulu. still on diet, but can eat anything as long as it in our daily calories intake and exercise to make sure there is also calories out :). so easy kan. walking to parking lot pun actually really helpful so i will make sure i akan parking jauh kat dengkil sana so i can walk :p.

blogging from kitchen

2011-04-09T16:04:00.004+08:00

boleh tak hantaran kahwin, nak mintak Kitchen Aid mixer, big oven, and nordicware baking stuff, agak2 kena lempang tak dgn ibubapa dan jua bakal suami but i so wanttttttt !! i admit now, its really growing on me. what else other than baking ! ... i constantly baking on weekend nowadays. even what i bake its not really varies, but what i did now is to test which recipe is the best. example, like bread butter pudding, the first attempt i use nani rostam's recipe and it turns out very delishhhhh sampai mase siap je, habis sekelip mata di makan olh adik beradik ku dan jua anak2 buah. then i baked that very night itself utk santapan kekasih hati, and he ordered for another one. i was suprised. knowing him, adalah makanan melayu je yg die akan makan. so i decided to try another recipe i got from allrecipes.com, when i asked him to compared which one is the most delish , the 1st one is muchhhh more better.

with so many choices of recipe in internet, u just need to test and decide. but my favourite reference is of coz nani rostam and kak rima (bisousatoi) . especially kak rima la, i am so in love with her baking talent, like seriously. i can cry looking at her entry. and yes for sure it took a lot of time to be very good at this, but i know i am on my way. dahla gamba2 yg die amik sgt la class and style.

the other week i buat oreo cupcakes recipe from kak rima. seperti biasa licin dgn sekelip mata. and terpaksa repeat buat lagi. and then my sister call and asked me to bake for his sons. my experienced, when i try new recipe, my 1st attempt sure cam topsy turvy skit, but after 2nd and 3rd attempt (if i didnt try new recipe) i manage to do it quite right. and i will be very happy. now request from my mom, utk saya try bake sponge cake and kek buah. my dad's fave. but i havent found recipe yg can convince me yet . need more time to bloghopping :).

one thing about me, whenever i bake , saya tak makan pun. i just taste a bit. seriously, rasa tak lalu nak makan, i dont know. lagipun apa yg saya buat mesti akan habis dgn sekelip mata di rumah, especially cupcakes sbb my nephew and niece sgt ramai so derang mmg suka la makan. akmal will eat the cupcakes first before eating dinner. and he even asked me to buat byk2 so that he can bring back to kuantan (his house) and sell it to his friends and neighbours. otak duit sungguh bdk tu. do u guys know, he sell crocs punye accessories tu with duit tabungan die sebagai modal. and he earning okay. i am so proud of him coz ade business minded since kecik lg. mmg ikut jejak ibu die which is my eldest sister :d. maybe if i have more time, and he also here in rompin, i will make dozens of cupcakes for him to sell with very cheap price. its not that i nak amik untung, only that just want to courage him doing this. maybe 1 cupcakes is 50 sen only (kat luar tak dpt okay harga mcm ni dahla oreo cupcakes ) then he can take all the money put in his tabung :).

besides baking for my families and my kekasih hati hehe, i also do bake and asked my mom to give to her masjid's friends. i will cut the cakes into slice and wrap it nicely and my mom will give to her friends bila pergi semayang kat masjid. it was a very good feeling. okay now my buttercake dah siap, i buat simple cake je today coz nak habiskan telur yg terbeli byk and self raising flour yg almost expired. i nak bagi the whole cake kat adik i and kawan2 asrama die for snack after prep. and wanna go buy another butter to repeat this cake utk ppl in kl.

sometimes when i do bake in rompin, i will make sure i will have some portion saved for my bestie azilin since she is just living minutes away from my house. i remember last year, i baru balik dr rompin sbb new year holidays kan then i bake my fave choc cakes and i ade simpan one portion for lyn. so when im about to go out to give the cake to lyn, osman called (masa tu takde apa2 lg k :p) he said he just want to drop by to my house alang2 lalu puchong nak g bangi ( yarrr pura2 lalu puchong okay padahal sgtla jauh ikut jln ni from his house kalau nak g bangi coz he knows i dah ade kat kl :p sweet kan haha) . so i told him i otw nak ke rumah lyn, so i just stop dkt jalan waiting for him... and then he came into my car, and we borak few stuffs bla bla and i pun cam a bit nervous time tu, trus tanya if he want to taste my choc cakes a bit bila dia dah nak bla. i gave him slice and he ate dlm his car so i pun bla. few seconds after that he called and said cakes tu sgt sedap gila. mestila ckp sedap kan sbb nak amik ati :p. since then he always asking for my choc cakes and u know what, i never bake chocs cake for him till now. i still baking chocs cake but i never give to him, i gave him other cakes. padahal the cakes he like the most is choc cakes. dont ask me why, i also dont know. probably i just want him to still remember the taste of cakes he ate that night. and for him to remember how cheeky he was those days when he want to get my attention hihi.

okay enough of loving stories. i shud go now, mom is ready and i need to cut and proper put my butter cakes into container for my little brother and his friends. the smell of this cakes is so delishhhhhhhh.

muak

2011-03-21T22:50:00.002+08:00

honestly , aku rasa cerita2 politik kat malaysia ni mmg dah tahap memalukan .memualkan lagi jijis. seolah2 mentaliti rakyat2 malaysia ni cam die bawah tahap yg tak blh diselamatkan lg. tiap2 ari cite all about sex , pasal liwat la, lubang j*b*u* laa , dada diramas la .... dah muka dpn plak tu cam what the fuck okay ... seriously aku cam malu . dan disbbkan bende2 inilaaa., drpd aku seorang yg suka mengambil tahu kisah2 hal semasa di malaysia ni tlh beralih arah kepada beautifulnara, oh bulan , izyan watever , blog2 gosip artis dsb sbb ntahla mmg aku dah menyampah gila tgk headline newspaper skrg. its all bout sex, kutuk mengutuk, fitnah yg berleluasa. mmg nak akhir zaman !. wallahualam.

aku x tau la sampai bila rakyat2 malaysia ni, especially golongan umur mcm aku ni nak dimomokkan dgnn perkara2 mcm ni. like aku tak peranh terpkir, seriously si mamat gila ni takde keje lain ke. dan aku sgt2 bersyukur kerana aku lansung tdk kaitan darah daging dgn mamat ni yg apabila dadanya diramas pun masih tdk tahu utk melawan awwww so bapok. tiba2 aku rasa cam nak memaki hamun plak kat sini.

yg terbaru ni ... actually aku tau pasal citer ni sbb aku on buletin utama, so all these stupids YB gave comment about video something, im not that clear, sbb mase aku on tb tu derang duk tgh komen pasal mende ni, suh letak jawatanla apa la itula. so aku pun go to malaysiakini ... and there goes another sex scandal yg sgt la tdk masuk akal. i maybe bias tp pikirlah logik, siap buat private screening bagai .... nampak sgtla so conspiracy.. lets say la dis guy mmg really kaki sex or watever u want to call it, takkanla die sebodoh itu okay utk do it dkt hotel2 .. like everybody bloody knows him . yg plg terbaru siap skandal sez dgn maknyah thailand plak ... ^_^

haih, seriously i just feel fedup and dissapointed. most of my mrsm members punye status kat fb pun all talks about "this bloody hating malaysian politic scene, it stinks" . bila pk2 aku takut sgt apa terjd kat timur tgh, akan terjd kat malaysia. we never know. Tuhan itu Maha Besar kan.

Firman Allah bermaksud: Wahai orang yang beriman, jika datang kepada kamu seorang fasik membawa sesuatu berita, maka selidik (untuk menentukan) kebenarannya, supaya kamu tidak menimpakan sesuatu kaum dengan perkara tidak diingini, dengan sebab kejahilan kamu (mengenainya) sehingga menyebabkan kamu menyesali perkara yang kamu lakukan. (Surah al-Hujurat, ayat 6)

and say with every heartbeat

2011-03-20T23:21:00.003+08:00

Alhamdullilah .... i feel a lot better this week , precisely this weekend. opss its actually still damn stressful yesterday but however things are recover today or precisely tonight. feel more calm , happy and focus . at least now i am so sure and very very certain about the decision that i made. it was always me being in doubt, hesitate, uncertain on this thing, its always me being negative and emotional... its always me being the one who tought about all the bad and worst thing ... its always me being the one who said and predict about future... its always me being afraid , scared and unsecure.... its always me being ME and that is the worst part :p. i know i know.

march is really tiring for me. only this week i have time to breathe a bit... itupun still suffocating sampai smlm , oh tdk smpai ptg td hehee. but at least i dah sort out on this thing. and finally dah feel so lega, lega sgt lagi2 things that i really really want to hear from this special someone is exactly what i wanted to hear :). all the negative thought that linger in my mind trus je fade away after heard that pengakuan ikhlas. before this, i always have thousands of reason utk tdk pergi berjumpa dgn this special someone. she kissed me three times when we first met, she hugged me, she hold my hands when we walked, we took pictures together with her hugging me, we went to tempat plg suci , masjid besi for our evening walk and masjid as syakirin klcc for magrib pray, a good place for our 1st met. she having a glance of my life passing thru my alma mater, mmu and to the place where i work. she gave me dates for me to alas perut knowing that i didnt take any meals yet, she gave me her food when we having dinner and it feels so good. i feel so happy i ended up crying , again !. i am so a drama queen, yes... and dah lama tak cengeng mcm ni. it was long time ago, ppl knowing me sbb i sgt kuat nangis, tapi since i dah growing up and being tough and independent , i dah jarang nangis... tp skrg everytime ade je yg tak kena i ended up crying... dah tak gonjeng :p.

knowing my ownself, if the thing is about me, about my life, about my future, i tend to run away or at least i pretend that its not me being the subject. i dont even want to discuss :p coz honestly i am just a coward, scared of what life got to offer in future. i am just being tak waras lansung when it comes to my personal life. so teruk of me... and here with all those stupid reasons yg i bagi all this awhile, i just made ppl waiting on me. and now i decided , people are just happy , and at least finally i am happy. so come what may ... i am ready for what future hold for me :) . InsyaAllah.

when in doubt... google that shit

2011-03-07T00:48:00.000+08:00

i bought something for me that i've wait for so long to buy it. i bought something for me without thinking twice. im not really a shopper or shopahalic or watever you want to call it, so i normally thinking twice before i bought something, even brooch :p. this time i just look, touched, ask for the price, and pay it. in less than 5 mins. i bought it because of sudden force and desire of feeling happy, to make myself happy. and it turned out everyone says that it looks good on me., its comfy, its casual, its not tight.. i am so in love with harem pants :).

i wear it straight away to the airport, to meet my parents who just came back from Mecca. mom always have issue with my style. ermmm being in a very very Islamic background family, mom always nagging about how i dressed up. i know its wrong mom :(, but i always learnt to wear more like a muslimah, and i am seeing myself now working towards that. now, i stop to buy dress and shirt that yg kan menampakkan my bontot :p. i am collecting and buying dress yg mesti bawah punggung now, so it can cover my ass. but yes, i still wear my old dress coz i dont have much long dress lagi ehhe. takpe sikit2 lama2 jd bukit. and i want to wear more skirts instead of pants, so beli byk2 tapi tak pakai lg coz i always lazy to get dressed, pakai seluar lg sng mudah.so do long dress, cover je dgn cardigan , sgt sng .... tudung also i started to wear anak tudung, but most of the time, i mmg pemalas to dress up, but at times, i do force myself to wear proper tudung so no more nampak rambut dan kena tegur. i envy my sister, she always know how to dress up , sgt sopan yet so fashionable. i wanted so much to change, but i dont have the courage yet to do it all, i masih x mampu nak tolak dugaan iblis and syaitan, but im trying so hard to be a better muslim day by day, InsyaAllah.

why im talking about my appearances ? i dont know. so many things happen to me nowadays. i feel lost, i feel sad. i dont know how to handle complicated, that is why i bought that harem pants coz i just wanted to feel ease, even its only in 5 minutes :)

nighty

2011-01-27T01:09:00.002+08:00

im just feel happy on what i have now. bersyukur dgn apa yg dikurniakan Tuhan. tak lebih tak kurang. i just feel content. i dont know mlm smlm i felt so content, smlm buat semayang hajat sempena my besday - meminta seperti ini kepada Tuhan adalah the best option kan instead of blowing candles and all the party, baca quran skit and after that felt so relieved, calm and rasa sgt2 bersyukur until I decided nak puasa today. Alhamdulilah.

despite of feeling so happy and content, Tuhan tu kan Maha Adil. Mesin basuh saya rosak plak on my birthday sob sob . skrg tgh menunggu saya lbh kurang 3 baldi baju utk basuh dan perah dan sidai. OMG dah lama gila tak basuh baju sendiri alalala . so i ade rasa skit punye bad mood siang td sbb kena deal with this mende2 yg leceh. nasib Lyn called maka hilanglah skit moody. skrg tak buat apa2 lag dgn baju 3 baldi tu, nak perah ke tak mlm seriously i feel so lazy ....... so i decide nak layan honey and clover dulu. esok baru perah baju and bila plak nak panggil org repair machine............. i so hate this part . benci okay !!

actually now, i can choose to work from home 2 weeks in a month. when i need to cover EMEA hours, its optional its either i can come to office or i can just work from home. definitely i just stay at home okay , or anywhere as long as i can online and get connected to vpn.. u know my new work and position, ermm not very new, sbnrnya sgt la lenggang kangkung, if u asked me mmg i akan ckp makan gaji buta okay. like seriously. kalau nak compare dgn my previous role dulu ya Allah mmg jauh mcm langit dan bumi, if only at that time i have my salary like this, i will definitely stay and dont mind to be in this position for another 1 year :-s, tp at that time pun a lot of things happened until i decided to just move on. But it always have pros and cons kan... and im so glad that i've been giving this privilegde to wfh for 2 weeks in a month coz i really need that now. my parents need me, even i cant be there for them everyday but i got much much more time to spend with them instead of just weekend balik kg :). and i am so happy. Alhamdullilah . esok nak work from starbucks , having hot choc and cakes while working .... haha jgn marah :p

okay, i dah 28 pun. on the way back from dinner, ade lagu Engkaulah yg Satu drpd kumpulan apa ntah. Osman said lagu tu thn 96 or 97, and i told him , 96 i baru form 1. osman cam teperanjat plak coz die ckp 96 dia dah form 5. ahaha i felt funny plak, kalau amsih sklh mesti rasa gap umur sgt byk cam tak sesuai lansung, tp coz nowdah keje pun dan dah tua... the age different doesnt seem important sgt . he said, despite of our 4 years gap, i cant cope with his age very good . apakah maksudnya ? maksudnya saya adalah matang , sng je cope dgn pemuda berusia 30 an gtu hahaha. sekian terima kasih .

okay , now decided nak sambg tgk honey and clover la , coz cite tu damn funny okay , sgt klaka gila, dah lama gila tak tgk drama jepun, sgt2 hillarious. and since this week i just keeping myself at home, layan byk gila series2 balik kat TV, and i feel like i found my oldself back. saya mmg hantu tgk drama2 tv okay. drama2 melayu skrg pun dah sgt best2, cewahhh sbnrnya ckp mcm ni sbb rumah ku tiada astro makan, free channel je la jd pilihan . but cite HANI adalah best gila kot .sedih okay aku siap nangis lg , sgt saiko okay .

okay, mari puasa lg esok alang2 ;)

being sentimental

2011-01-23T23:15:00.001+08:00

it has been a week since wedding alina. yda and me came 3 days earlier to her house utk menolong apa yg patut :). and the 3 days its worth for a lifetime. the memories that i will keep forever because i know i will never get a chance to spend even 1 day with her after this. it makes me sad to think about that. no more bfast at Darus during the weekend with her, sanggup okay bgn pagi2 on weekend drove myself to Subang and both of us will having our fave food, nasi lemak ayam goreng and teh tarik everytime we go to Darus. knp we all hang out pagi2 buta coz alyn is working in Ipoh, even almost everyweek she come back to Subang, but mestila either me and her couldnt make or spend time during the days coz masing2 ade commitment. during the day kan mestila nak buat itula inilah, and since alyn still duduk dgn parents , kluar malam2 adalah No No. so we decided to go for breakfast la kalau tak blh hangout during the day. how if i miss to eat there ? tak taula nak pergi dgn sapa dah :(.

alyn is my very very best friend. she is my sister. we know each other since kat mrsm berpuaka tu lg hehee. so much of memories. die la satu2nya kawan plg lama yg aku kawan yg jd sgt rapat dgn aku. she knows me better than my sister. she knows my secret better than anyone else in the world. she is the one who will be there for me ups and downs. wpun duk jauh, but she is just being there for me anytime, everytime.

alyn segala perkara yg berlaku mase kat muadzam dulu, aku takkan lupa sampai bila2. u STAYED when everyone else turned me down. dont know why we clicked so easily kan, dahla i ni bdk baru gtu. nak kata satu bilik, tak pernah satu bilik pun. satu klas pun skjp je. but we were so clicked. seriously byk gile memories kat muadzam which kalau cite balik mmg konfirm aku akan nangis okay. so much of experience that taught me meaning of life and TRUE friendship :).

ala if i want to talk about my dear alina, it will be never ending story. so much to say okay !! alyn no more our roadtrip lagi after this. after this if we go travel pun dah kena tdo bilik asing2 dgn kau :(. im so glad we made our Europe trip happened, to reunite again with our Yda in a very very far away land. itu our ultimate dream kan :).

tiba2 aku nak cite satu kisah ttg alyn dan geng gagak hitam MMU ku yg disyanagi hehe. dulu mase parents alyn kat london , she always came to MMU during weekend, stay kat my room merempat . so die pun duk kenal and mingle ngan puak2 ni , jas lyn amat gedek zati afiq . then next year kot, parents alyn dah came back to msia and buat open house mase Raya. alyn pun invite la kitaorg semua kat rumah die. so nak dijadikan cite amat gedek and si afiq ni kata raya kan, before balik raya tu derang g dye rambut . amat kaler biru, gedek kuning si afiq nyique plak merah. bila kitaorg dtg, tba2 rumah alyn jd hingar bingar, dgn suara akunya, suara jas tambah suara lyn lg tambah dgn suara2 jantan2 tu lg. pastu dgn bdk2 ni duk smoking bagai kat luar rumah, sgt lah membuatkan ayah alyna bengang. sampai cam pelik gtu apsal anak mereka ade kwn2 yg mcm ni dgn rambut berkaler bagai. saiko gila aku rasa . lps tu trus je bdk2 ni trus x dijemput dah ke rumah alina haha sbb ayah dia dah tak suka. siap cam kondem2 gtu perangai kitaorg semua. picture kitaorg mase tu ... aku siap print and frame kan lagi. all of us, siap letak kat living hall rumah aku lg tau. kalau tgk mesti aku gelak sorang2, sbb gamba tu sgt meaningful lg2 bila tgk rambut bdk2 3 ekor tu :p .

actually byk je bende2 yg kitaorg dreamt of doing together tak terbuat lg. like so many things okay. tp Tuhan yg menentukan segala2nya. but i just being happy selama2 alyn tak kawin lg ni we had so much of fun, cheerish our friendship in our own way.

if you asked me, who is the one yg know my good and bad, my flaw, betapa berubahnya perangai aku drpd sgt penakut kepada sgt berani, drpd sgt dependant kepada independant, drpd worst to a much more better person... dia adalah Alina :). and she is the only and will be the only person yg Azrul express his feeling towards me when he and me with someone else. and i know why he did that coz org yg plg byk aku cite kat die adalah Alina la hehe.

im so happy for u dear, ur wedding is just like we are always dreaming of. so simple, very simple everything is just simple but very very nice and beautiful. every single thing is simple. part plg complicated adalah time nak pakai inai je hahaa coz it involve the craetive me and org plg teliti pernah aku jumpa Yda. siap bereksperimen bagai lg .. naisb we have like 2 days ahead nak berexperimentalkan.

alyn, i love u . i know u will be a good wife and a good mother :).

the mix up

2011-01-02T23:04:00.002+08:00

hai hai hehe. like almost every year, my new year always with my family . tp this year i tak amik long break pun coz dah terholiday awal on november kan. even i just wfh the whole last week of 2010, but i didnt go back to rompin, i decided to have "me" time, alone in my house at puchong. basically doing nothing. but i just love the leisure on not having anyone around me , not having anything to rush, not really eating, just be quiet and silence and do a lot of readings and sleeping :).

i would like to start my story on the very 1st day of hespi closure, my oh my finally i got a chance to meet my long lost friend Azza! after few attemps this time is for real. met her up in cyberjaya, i went to her stall. and we were talking non stop for more than 4 hours. emotion mixed up, can u imagine after 17 years we didnt see each other, we both just couldnt stop talking. i swear if Azza didnt leave the school when we were at standard 4, she will definitely be my very best friend till today. so much to say , yet so little time we have, it was already 7 pm, i got to move but i promise her, i will definitely come to her again. i got to run for the last dinner @ 8.30pm with my so called family angkat at setiawangsa, i was driving like hell, speeding gila but nak speeding apa, LDP jem gila sungguh kronik. i was stay back at zul and zureen's crib after dinner, having heart to heart session with them till Osman came almost 1 am (blerghhh) and i just reached puchong around 3 am. and i just decided not to sleep without knowing what will happen to me when the morning comes ^-^

the morning came and it was actually christmas day, i was on roadtrip with my dear besties, yda and alyn. the last one perhaps for 3 of us :(. it will be a very long story to tell on what actually happened that day. i was driving basically non stop across 4 states sleepyhead. reason why i decided not to sleep because we want to start our journey right after subuh prayer. i know myself very well, if i fall sleep at 3 am, i will never make it to wake up around 6 with only a phone call as my alarm :d. i was planning to ask Alyn to drive my car to Malacca, but what the hell actually si manis Alina left her wallet in her office drawer. i didnt believe when she told me that, so terpaksa la i yg drive. and alyn heads up me siap2 that we might go to Ipoh to take her wallet if her friend didnt manage to open her drawer and take her wallet. and i was like, lets go Ipoh after we done having fun kat malacca, i just really love the idea of unplanned roadtrip :p. yela mase tu cam tak sleepy pun segar bugar dahla tgh excited nak meet up with Yda lagi. so by noon, dah confirm alyn and me have to go to Ipoh, reason kena amik jugak wallet tu coz alyn need to settle all her borang nikah and urusan kawin next monday so mestilah kena ade all the documents . tapi actually mase tu aku dah start weng weng weng, dahla exhausted gila . can u imagine kitaorg berjalan kat bandar hilir non stop dr pukul 10 sampaila pukul 4 ptg. sgt teringat mase europe trip kitaorg dulu , berjalan non stop.

so texted Osman, if he can accompany us to Ipoh . sbnrnya bkn apa, sbb dahla jalan mlm kan, dan both of us adalah tdk memberitahu pun ibubapa masing2. kerana takut apa2 terjadi, terpaksa gak heret Osman utk folo us, padahalnya die lagilah letihnya tak cukup tdo, siap pagi2 buta ade kenduri kat rumah sampai ptg, pastu nak g tgk konsert double trouble pastu pagi2 esok kena drive ke pahang sbb adik die bertunang. tp nak be superman kenala folo jugak . tahap kestabilan mental dan kewengan dan keletihan kami berdua adalah sama taraf gtu. so sampai kl balik kul 10pm amik die kat tmpt konsert maka off we go to Ipoh, saya drive halfway tapi sbnrnya agak exhausted gila, kaki pun dah letih gila tekan minyak sbnrnya, sbb ade drama skit dgn Osman , keraskan hati jugak drive sampai dah blh membahayakan nyawa gtu, maka beralah jugakla dgn Osman. kang ade makan penampar tgh2 highway :p.

kami sampai balik KL betul kul 6 , hantar Osman balik and aku hantar alyn balik rumah die, dahla siap tipu bapak die ckp tdo melaka, padahal apakah kul 6 pagi dah balik sampai rumah. mase aku hantar alyn balik subang pun kat federal cam sgt sleepy siap terbabas skit gtu huhu. coz saya mmg tak tdo lansung even bila osman yg drive coz i cant trust him when it comes to driving . die adelah lg sng okay utk mengantuk, so i have to be awake to make him awake ^-^. then bila balik tak tau nak tdo ke tak, sbb dah janji dgn alyn nak g cari kasut hantaran die. tp sbb mmg exhausted kaw kaw aku tertdo tersedar2 bateri phone kong amik kau dah pukul 11 lbh padahal janji ngan alyn kul 9 pagi . adalah tersgt lega sbb alyn dah rearrange back die punye schedule so i can sleep longer . kitaorg g petang phewwww. lps tu cari kasut tak jumpa2, dr pavillion , kitaorg decide rush ke Gardens, tak jumpa jugak. actually ade je but you know, alyn never decide thing, she is the person who need other ppl to decide for her, of course the trusted one. dah ade dua kepala kan, when alyn say yes to this heel, i will say No. if she say No, i will definitely say No, so semua heel pun saya say NO, mcm la barang hantaran aku kan :d. so end up tak beli pun... balik dgn sungguh kepenatan, and we having dinner kat Anngerik, our favourite dinner spot :). ala lps ni no more late dinner like this with my dear alina. i am sad.

so the rest of the week till end of the year, it just me travel back and forth visiting friends and entertain my parents and siblings when they came to KL. i went back to Rompin on the day that our PM declared PH to celebrate our victory on AFF Cup and spent the rest of the days counting the new year with my beloved parents and family at my lovely home :).

u know i ended up this year, watching 2 great movies, yg super duper funny. before i went back to Rompin, finally dpt jugak tgk Hantu Kak Limah Balik Rumah. I am really a big fan of Mamat Khalid, blh tgk movie2 die secara berulang2 kali tanpa bosan okay. dah lama sgt ajak ramai org tgk movie ni , but mcm takde kesempatan je. so pergilah tgk after tgk final bla kat Bung Karno kan.. mmg super duper lawak. sgt menghilangkan stress, tapi aku xde la stress pun, tak sia2 aku beli tiket ni guna kredit kad okay. never in my life beli tiket wayang yg x sampai 20 inggit tu guna kredit kad :d. tp takut tak smpt nak g beli walk in punye pasal tepaksa gak beli , dahla hampeh gila tgv takde maybnk2u , nasib cite really worth to watch. bdk sblh aku bdk laki , awek die sgt la bimbo gila, die bahan gelak mcm org gila, yg si awek ni mix mat saleh kot, asyik duk tanya je sbb tak paham lawak k . mesti kes kena paksa g tgk ngan si pakwe :d.

and on the new year eve, kitaorg ramai2 sapa yg balik rompin, melepak kat living hall, decided to watch 3 idiots. OMG seriously the best movie i ever watch for this year. segala2nya ada dlm movie tu, sampai kak Anis happy gila kot dpt tgk. Kak Anis, my sister mmg die tak tgk lansung TV okay, cam takde satu cite or movie or apa jua yg die tgk ... so cam luckily anak2 die behave and since Amir Khan berlakon cite tu, trus die melekat dpn TV. tapi seriously sgt best. the next day tu pun, i ulang balik tgk sbb mmg tersgt best :).

and guess, what was the novel yg i baca utk menamatkan happy ending for 2010? hehe i baca novel Umar Al Khattab and Uthman bin Affan. it feels so good and i am proud of myself :).

kisah anak sedara ugut mak sedara

2010-11-10T20:17:00.004+08:00

few friends already know fact that i dont really like baby, not really like but i DONT LIKE baby at all hehe. but i do love kids, yg dah pandai jalan, berckp dan berlari dan yg sewaktu dgnnya. kiranya aku hanya suka bdk yg besar la. utk pengetahuan semua hatta aku skrg mempunyai 18 org anak buah , tapi tdk seorang pun aku pernah cium ketika mereka baru dilahirkan jua ketika mereka masih baby berbedung dsbnya. utk dtg menengok2 mereka pun adalah cam dr jauh je, sudi tak sudi, dtg jugak tgk sbb takut kakak2 ku akan berkecil hati.

and i never get a responsibility to be a babysitter to any of them , takde sapa berani suruh aku jaga anak derang. job itu aku akan dpt, bila mmg xde adik beradik yg lain yg blh mengavalaiblekan diri. kalau dikikutkan, aku ni mmg garang gila kot ngan bdk2, but i really love to talk with them. my fave is always Akmal, anak sedara sulong. we talk about almost everything and die plak sgt rapat dgn kitaorg, so apa2 die akan mengendeng tdo ngan kitaorg or just joint kitaorg dlm bilik dgr segala cite mak nenek kitaorg. die cite pasal kwn2 sklh die pun, aku layankan saja. best tau borak ngan bdk2. anak2 sedara yg lain pun aku suka jugak. kecuali ehem2 yg aku mmg dont bother sgt. tau tak ade seorang anak sedara aku nama die adalah ADIB FAHMI, sweetkan sama nama dgn ku. my sister mesti sgt adore dgn diriku ini sbb tu die letak nama anak die sama kot hahaa. dahlah our family call him ADIB, at first i really feel weird, its like im calling myself ... but i sgt suka die. dahla garang nyah, cam aku gak. and seorang lagi anak sedara aku , AFIF HELMI birthday adalah sama dgn diri ku ini, 26 january. sweetkan, aku pun suka gila gak, sbnrnya aku mcm suka semua, aku suka yg dah besar la espc yg 2 tahun ke atas.

aku mcm dikenali sbgai mak sedara yg plg suka belikan aiskrim utk bdk2 ni. aku pun x tau kenapa, stiap kali derang menangis atau meragam sbb bergaduh ke apa2 jela, mesti aku akan cakap, nanti mak cha belikan aiskrim. sng trus senyap gtu bdk2 ni. so mcm kdg2 kalau aku dtg rumah mereka pun, trus cam mak cha nak aiskrim. so mmg begitulah kaedahnya. cuti deepavali hari tu ade dua family balik, abg ngah aku n anak2 (4 org) dan juga kak anis2 aku dgn anak2 die (4 org jugak). so sesampainya aku di rumah jumaat tu, trus mcm kena g kedai beli brg2 sbb nak buat pecal, so yg ikut aku mase tu adelah 3 org je, hariri dan humaidi (anak abg ngah aku) dan angah (anak kak anis). ketika aku membeli2 brg yg di pesan, bdk2 3 org tu apa lagi, trus ke kaunter aiskrim . semua amik aiskrim pilihan masing2, aku pun amikla satu utk aku corneto strwberry cheesecake.. teringin gtu dah lama x mkn cornetto. aku mmgla nak beli utk semua org kat rumah tu, tapi sudah kehabisan cash di situ, maka aku pun amikla satu bekas besar aiskrim walls tu supaya semua org blh makan, maksudnya anak2 sedara yg lainla. tp apabila balik amik kau siap bergaduh gtu, menangis bagai sbb tak puas hati apsal bdk 3 org ni dpt aiskrim special... waaaa lps tu aku plak kena bebel dgn mak aku sbb bersikap tdk adil kepada anak sedara. masalahnya plak, yg dah dpt aiskrim2 special tu sbuk gak nak makan aiskrim dlm bekas tu sgt hebat gtu bergaduh bdk2 ni.. pening aku.

so di malam hari tu, saja jela menyakat bdk2 ni balik , tanya sapa nak aiskrim esok mak cha belikan. mmg konfirmla semua nak kan. aku siap ckp sapa nak aiskrim kena kiss aku dulu, so mmg sorang2 duk kiss aku dgn penuh tak rela, bdk2 ni mana nak okay kiss2 ni, semua dah berlagak besar bengang btl. tghari esoknya... aku bgn2 mak aku suruh aku g beli apa ntah, aku mmg x mandi lansung masa tu kan, so aku ajak adik aku Ariff skelai, supaya die yg kluar beli brg2 yg dipesan. anak2 sedara aku ni bila nampak aku nak kluar, amik aku smua nak ikut, yg 3 org semalam, ditambah dgn aiman dan helmi. derang semua nak kluar dr kete tapi aku x kasi sbb aku pun duduk dlm kete je tunggu and aku duk pesan kat arif lps beli semua brg tlg belikan aiskrim yg bdk2 ni nak, yg si arif ni plak sikit punye lama okay die cr brg2 tu almaklumlah kena cr rempah soto, kentang, ntah apa bende lg ntah haruslah terkial2 dia cr. so sementara tunggu arif , tiba2 aku dpt sms dr Afifah, aku hanya ade 2 org je anak sedara perempuan, sorang lg Alia anak kak Anis. Afifah ni kami panggil dia kakak, darjah dua. aku pun bacalah sms die :

Kakak: Ingat beli aiskrim. Petang atau skrg .

Aku reply : Kitaorg tgh makan aiskrim ni, cornetto .(sbnrnya aku tipu je sbb aku mmg niat nak menyakat dia sbb dia ni mmg drama queen tak ingat hahaa)

Kakak reply : Mana aci, takpe kakak balas dendam (blh die sms mcm ni, aku dahs elak gelak siap cite kat adik2 die lg kakak derang sms ugut mak cha)

Aku reply: Betulla, sapa suruh tak ikut mak cha

Kakak reply : Tipu

Aku reply : Betulla, sedap gila aiskrim

Kakak reply : Takpe. kakak akan tunggu dpn pagar.ps tu kakak tak akan pergi dari situ. mak ca nak langgar cubalah ( apakahhhhhhhh blh dia bg mcm ni sumpah saiko okay selak aku gelak)

Aku pun reply : Mak ca akan langgar je kakak, nanti mak ca bgtau Aki biar kena marah. (sbb konfirmla ayah aku akan marah k, masa tu tghari buta nak buat pasal plak kat pintu pagar rumah mau semua org kena lempang gtu ngan die termasuk aku, tp aku rasa aku pun bodoh sbb apsal plak aku ckp nak langgar die kan, sama2 sengal kot ahhaa)

Kakak reply : Kakak akan buat apa saja kat orang penipu dan keretanya. (okay yg ni sungguh lawak, sumpah saiko gila)

tapi aku dha x reply sbb dah nak balik sgt, arif mengamuk aku asyik arah2 die beli mcm2 last die trus baya masuk kete siap nak menangis ckp nak balik sbb nak berak. boleh? aku tgk die pun dah berpeluh2 tahan sakit perut. maka mmg tak beli pun aiskrim ahaha, sia2 je bdk2 tu ikut aku. bila aku balik rumah , kakak pun takde dpn pagar aku rasa die x sure bila aku balik, tp mase aku balik die buat drama la apalagi. bergaduh mulut ngan aku , best duh begaduh ngan bdk kecik. hahahaa last2 aku yg kena marah ngan mak n ayah aku .. coz being so childish :p

akibat bosan

2010-11-10T14:12:00.002+08:00

since masuk new team, mmg dah lama gila aku tak mengupdate blog kat ofis. reason utama adalah sbb my new workstation adalah sungguh tdk best. adalah sblh laluan semuaorg baik engineer maupun manager dsb. dan krn aku tdk lagi duduk di my safe zone, skrg open cubicleskan so malula i kalau tba2 tulis blog plakkan dikala org lain pun duk berpura2 bz di dpn laptop masing2 :p.

tp arini mmg sungguh boring tahap apa ntah. sbnrnya more to sleepy gila. jiwa aku ni sbnrnya ntah kemana dah , semenjak aku dpt tau yg aku kena clearing leave by end of this month and it happen leave aku byk gila lagi sbnrnya maka dgn hebatnya aku trus bercuti selama almost 2 weeks start raya haji ni. normally every year, aku akan cuti year end , follow HP closure, since aku start keje 4 years ago aku mmg duk cuti 2 weeks for year end sampai ofis bukak balik after new year. even mase aku still jd engineer running on shift dgn bersusah payah aku arrange cuti engineer2 lain dan swap menyewap aktiviti supaya aku dpt gak bercuti :p. padahalnya aku bkn g mana2 pun, hanya balik ke kg halaman and spend the whole holiday di rumah with parents and family. yela dah throughout the year aku duk keje , and balik pun sehari dua je ke rompin every month so aku mmg niat every year end aku akan duk lama kat rompin, spend quality time dgn my family :).

but okay gak, aku cuti earlier one month, sbb year end, parents not here. so tiadalah gunanya aku berada di rompin , tp school holiday kan, anak2 sedara ku sure berkampung dgn hebatnya di rompin. so adalah sgt tak sabar nak cuti 2 minggu ni. jiwa mmg dah melayang2. bila aku ckp kat osman nak balik rompin ptg selasa straight after keje, blh tak die jawab, sgt bdk asrama tak menyabar2 nak balik. bengang jap jiwa raga, taulah dia masih duduk dgn parents sungguh tdk memahami aku ni yg slalu benar homesick.

hang in there

2010-10-23T01:56:00.003+08:00

i was looking at the calendar to plan my year end holiday and at the same time talking to Osman about how time flies really fast, for God sake we are just 2 months away to the new year. November is approaching and i complaint to him, bout this year is so not productive for me, nothing great happen ,still at the same company, mcm ntah apa2 je yg i buat, nothing significant, everything is just average for me, still keep on repeating same mistakes and my list of whining is just goes on. and when i stopped typing things, he replied my message with just one sentence "you makes me fall in love" . isnt he sweet ? with just that sentence, he makes me stop and feel bad, how i dont appreciate the feeling, the love that Allah actually gave to both of us. yes, we met last year, and fall in love this year.

So why i still complaining? Mestila tak blh dpt semua bende yg kita nak kan. life is not always full of roses, u cant always ask for rainbow all the times... Allah itu MAHA Penyayangkan. HE gave us sunny days, rainy days, cloudy days, clear sky, thunderstorm, lightning cats n dogs, rainbows after rain... same goes to our life. we always have our ups n downs, what we need to do is redha dan bersyukur. sentiasa berusaha utk berbuat yg terbaik kan. InsyaAllah. do u know Osman always send me sms doa kat saya, beautiful doa, beautiful phrase , sentiasa doa yg baik2 utk saya tp aku ni selalu je buat pasal complaint and kutuk2 die. what a bad person i am kan ehehe. bila i lost something and not be able to find it back, he always remind me to selawat and zikir ya muib (muid ke apa ntah ) byk2 kali, bila aku tgh down ke or at my worst temper, ade jela surah2 or ayat2 zikir yg dia suruh aku baca utk menenangkan diri. sesungguhnya aku pun tdk menyangka yg ilmu agama die agak tinggi (berbanding aku) jugak wpun he doesnt looks like one, even attitude pun x lansung k. tu tak sampai lg bab die bg ceramah agama free lg kat aku tu. mmg tadah telinga je la dgr. siap tgh dgr dlm hati sempat lagi memaki2 bila la die ni nak stop bg ceramah LOL. geram okay nak menjawab dan mencelah, tp nanti kena marah plak sbb tak nak dgr ilmu hahaha. tp most of the time confirmla aku menjawab balik k, dasar nak menang jugak :p. gulpp see i am such a bad person kan hahaa slalu kutuk2 osman :p.

okayla sbnrnya tak terniat pun nak menjiwang kat entry ni, xdela nak cerita yg i have very sweet, super duper romantic loving, nothing bad only good person by my side sampai org blh muntah dan akhirnya mengutuk after baca entry ku ini hahaha. sbnrnya more to realise that sometimes we do overlook and tdk bersyukur dgn apa yg Tuhan kurniakan kat kita , say in every day life. like u still be able to wake up every morning, having breakfast, drive ur own car, working at the very nice place, ade internet connection yg makes u get connected with everyone in the world, having our own money to buy foods, stuff we like even takdelah byk sgt pun duitnya, able to talk, reading, dan mcm2 lagila. kdg2 aku lalai, itulah sbnrnya rahmat Tuhan pada kita , tp sbb bende tu everyday kita buat so we just take things for granted la. but nothing beats rahmat terbesar iaitu ketenangan hati kan.

like i always dreamt of married a foreigner and living abroad. aku kan sgt suka membaca blog malaysian yg kawin foreigner and tinggal trus kat sana dan dpt anak2 kacuk. as the saying goes... grass is always greener at the other side. tp betul ke? kalau aku living abroad now, blh ke aku balik anytime i want to my hometown to meet my parents, blh ke when i feel down, i can quickly run to my sister and family as well as my best friends like what i always did in Malaysia. betul ke aku mmg suka dgn gloomy winter ? that i can stand to only white with no other colours, skrg mestila aku akan ckp i love snow and white, its beautiful. tp betul ke bila aku dah betul2 have to live with that aku akan suka? or im just straight away being depressed . Alangkah kat sini bila rain cats and dogs pun time tgh driving, aku mcm dah rasa nak stop the car kerana sgt TAK SUKA, RASA TAKUT dan segala perasaan yg x best. Manusia mmg tak pernah puas kan hehehe.

okay enough of ponderin bout life. skrg dah start raining di puchong. doesnt feel like going out today, no plan. smlm dah la balik lmbt gila and bila balik tak blh tdo plak, after subuh br tido. bdk2 team backup ade buat badminton session tonight kat hp campus. i am SO SO teringin nak joint, Ain pun suruh joint, tp i so segan okay. takde kawan ... pathetic kan ?

HOUSEMATE SIAL , TERSIAL DLM SEJARAH

2010-10-21T23:07:00.002+08:00

SORRY AKU TAU MLM NI MLM YG MULIA, MLM JUMAAT, SEPATUTNYA AKU SEMAYANG DAN BACA YASSIN. TP AKU MMG DAH TAHAP GIAN NAK MEMAKI SETELAH SEKIAN LAMA AKU TAK MEMAKI ORG DGN HEBATNYA. TP MEMAKI DI DALAM HATI, BLOG, KEPADA OSMAN DAN JUA RAKAN TAULAN. TDKLAH AKU MEMAKI TERANG2AN KEPADA ORG YG MMG SIAL ITU. SILALAH KIRA BERAPA BYK PERKATAAN SIAL YG AKU TULIS DLM ENTRY NI.

SBNRNYA AKU NI BLH DIKIRA TAHAP JENIS TAK KISAH JE. JENIS BERTOLAK ANSUR DAN JUGA MEMAHAMI CEWAHH. SO SELAMA2 DI ARENA HIDUP BERUMAH SEWA DAH HAMPIR 4 TAHUN NI AKU MMG PRAKTIS SHARING IS CARING. LGPUN AKU START DUDUK RUMAH SEWA DGN LYN N ZATI HARUSLAH KAMI ADALAH ROOMATE SINCE MMU SAMPAI KEJE TRUS JD HOUSEMATE SO MMG TAKDE MASALAH DI SITU. SO LPS LYN KAWIN AND KISAH RUMAH SEWA KAT DAMANSARA DI PECAHMASUK. MAKA AKU PUN MEMBAWA DIRI KE PUCHONG, SEWA SATU RUMAH KOSONG BTL. KIRA AKU OWN RUMAH TU, FURNISHED KAN DGN BARANG2 HASIL TITIK LELAH KU BEKERJA DAN SEWAKAN 2 LG BILIK YG KOSONG KEPADA TOTALLY STRANGERS. SO DAH AKU RASA DEKAT 5 ORG GAK YG KLUAR MASUK SELAMA ALMOST 2 THN AKU DUDUK RUMAH PUCHONG NI SO FAR MMG TAKDE MASALAH. CUMA ADALAH KDG2 TU AKU TERASA BENGANG APABILA DERANG REQUEST NAK TGK CITE TV3 DIKALA AKU TGH LAYAN CHANNEL 8TV. TP SETAKAT MENDE2 MCM TU AKU LUPAKAN SAJALAH. NORMALLY B4 DERANG MASUK RUMAH, AKU CKPLA BRG2 DLM RUMAH NI SEMUA BRG2 AKU, BLHLAH GUNA TP PANDAI2 LA JAGA , ESPECIALLY ELECTRICAL GOODS KAN. DAHLA HARGA RIBU2 SAYANGLA KALAU ROSAK KAN. MANA PLAK AKU NAK CR DUIT BELI BARU.

TP HOUSEMATE AKU YG TERBARU NI, MMG MENYAKITKAN HATI AKU. SKRG NI AKU MMG DUDUK BERDUA JE DI RUMAH INI. AKU CAM MALAS NAK CR ORG, AKU PUNYE STYLE KALAU AKU MALAS CR ORG, AKU DUDUK JE LA SORANG2 SELAMA BERBULAN2 THEN BILA AKU RASA CAM NAK GUNA DUIT DGN BYK, MAKA BR AKU CR ORG SO TAKDELAH AKU BAYA BUTA2 500 KAN EVERY MONTH. HOUSEMATE AKU NI DR DULU LG SLALU BAYA SEWA RUMAH LMBT, KIRA DIE AKAN BAYA CAM HUJUNG BULAN DGN ALASAN GAJI LMBT. AKU PUN TAK KISAHLA NAK ADVANCE SBB AT LEAST END OF THE MONTH DIE AKAN BAYA KAT AKU. TP DAH NAMPAKLA TANDA2 SENGAL DIE TU, SLALUNYA YG PLG BENCI APABILA DIA TAK TUTUP AIR PAIP SLPS MESIN BAJU, SAMPAI MELIMPAH2 AIR KAT LANTAI TMPT LAUNDRY TU. LPS TU LEFTOVER FOOD MMG TAK BUANG, SAMPAI ADE SATU TAHAP TU AKU BUANG SKALI NGAN TONG SAMPAH AKU SBB MASUK JE RUMAH BUSUK GILA MASE TU AKU BALIK ROMPIN DLM 3 HR KOT. SO DAH 3 HR LA KOT MAKANAN2 TU TERBIAR DAN AKU PUN X TAU G MANA. LPS TU YG AKU BENGANG DAHLA SIAP BASUH BAJU BOYFRIEND DIE. TIAP2 ARI PLAK TU BASUH BAJU.. APAKAH KDG2 AKU CAM PAGI2 LETAK BAJU DLM MESIN INGAT NAK BASUH, TP TBA2 LUPA DAN RUSHING KLUAR BILA AKU BALIK PTGNYA NAMPAK BAJU2 BUSUK AKU DIE SIAP KLUARKAN LETAK ATAS LANTAI TMPT LAUNDRY TU SBB NAK BASUH BAJU DIE. OIIII KAU X BLH SABAR KE, WEEKEND CAM ADE DUA HARI KOT, TAKES TURN LA, LGPUN MESIN BASUH TU AKU PUNYA K!!! BENGANG GILA. KALAU MASAK PUN MASYAALLAH, TAK PERNAHNYA BETUL2 DIE KEMAS DAN BASUH BRG2. KUALI PERIUK SEMUA SEME TERBIAR 2 3 HARI, AKU LA YG SETELKAN. KALAU PINGGAN MANGKUK PENUH KAT SINK TAKDENYA DIE NAK SUSUN KAT RAK. DAHLA SEMUA TU HARTA BENDE AKU, TGK DAH MULALA AKU MENGUNGKIT OKAY !! AKU NI NAK DIKATAKAN RAJIN DAN PENGEMAS JUA PEMBERSIH GILA TAKDELAH. TP AKU TAK DELA NAK BIARKAN RUMAH KOTOR BUSUK ADE SAMPAH. AKU PUN SAPU SAMPAH BUAT LAUNDRY EVERY WEEK JE PUN. KALAU ADE WEEKEND YG ASYIK KLUAR JE, MAKA TAK BERSAPU GAK RUMAH AKU, TP AKU MAKE SURE TAK KOTOR! TU PLG PENTING. BERHABUK STKT DUE MINGGU TU AKU PUN TAKDELAH NAK BERIA SGT, MOP LANTAI KIPAS SEMUA PUN 2 BLN SKALI IKUT TAHAP KERAJINAN. CUME MMG AKU MAKE SURE TAK KOTOR DAN TAKDE LEFTOVER MAKANAN TERSIMPAN.

AKU ADA COFFEE MAKER TAU HADIAH DR LYN KEPADA AKU, AKU KAN MMG MINUM KOPI. TP SINCE LYN BAGI AKU MMG AKU X PERNAH GUNA PUN. AKU JUST LETAK KAT RAK KAT MEJA TU, PASTU AKU TGK DIE DUK GUNA MENDE ALAH TU, AKU PUN X KISAHLA. TP TAPI NI YG START AKU SAKIT HATI, DIE TAK BASUH PUN SERBUK KOPI TUUUUUUUUUU. MMG PENGOTOR LA KAU NI. NTAH CAMNA MASA TU AKU DUK LAP2 MEJA N PERKAKASA RUMAH BILA AKU CHECK KAT COFFEE MAKER MMG SIALLA POMPUAN NI. SIAP DAH BERKULAT OKAY AKU TAK SURE SINCE BILA DIE TAK BASUH TU. AKU PUN TRUS LA RENDAM , SBB MENGENANGKAN LYN YG BAGI :(. LPS TU AKU LETAK COFFEE MAKER TU DLM BILIK AKU.

OKAY NI KISAH YG MENYEBABKAN AKU MMG TRUS SAKIT HATI GILA NGAN DIE. APABILA DIE TLH MENJAHANAMKAN PINTU BILIK DIA SENDIRI. AKU ADE AMIK GAMBA TP CAM HILANG PLAK. KISAHNYA ADALAH 1ST RAMADHAN PLAK TU, BALIK2 RUMAH DAHLA TAK BERBUKA LG, TRUS AKU TERDUDUK MENANGIS :(. PTG TU DLM KUL 5 LBH DIA ADA CALL AKU AKU X DGR SBB SEMAYANG , AKU KAT OFIS, PASTU DIE BG2 SMS, MASE TU AKU MMG LPS ASAR TRUS NAK RUSH BALIK SBB NAK G BAZAR N BALIK RUMAH TRUS SBB NAK KEJAR MAGHRIB N TERAWIH. TAKUT STUCK LAMA GILA KAT JEM KAN. SO DIE TANYA AKU BILA AKU BALIK LMBT KE, AKU REPLY AKU CKP MMG LMBT MAYB MAGRIB BR SAMPAI RUMAH. PASTU DIE CKP KUNCI DIE TERTINGGAL DLM BILIK DIE STUCK ... SO MASA TU MMG AKU X REPLY PUN SBB AKU MMG TGH RUSHING. PASTU BILA AKU CHECK BALIK SMS DIE , DIE CKP DIE PECAHKAN PINTU BILIK SBB DIE NAK KLUAR ,DIE NAK G BERBUKA PUASA LA KOT SBB DIE X BLH NAK KLUAR RUMAHKAN SO MMG DIE KENA PECAHKAN PINTU. TP MASE BACA SMS TU AKU INGATKAN DIE JUST PECAHKAN TOMBOL PINTU LA. AKU PERNAH PECAHKAN GAK TOMBOL PINTU MASA KAT KELANA JAYA DULU SBB KUNCI TERTINGGAL KAT DLM, SO CAM LPS TU AKU HANYA TUKA TOMBOL JE LA. TP BILA AKU BALIK JE, AKU TGK MASYAALLAH. PEREMPUAN NI MMG BODOH LG SIAL TAKDE OTAK GILA BANGANG BODOH DAMNNNNNNNNN. RUPANYA DIE BETUL2 PECAHKAN PINTU OKAY, PINTU !! DIE KETUK PECAHKAN PINTU, BLH TAK AKU TGK TRUS LULUH HATI AKU, RASA NAK PENGSAN. RASA RUMAH CAM KENA PECAH NGAN PENCURI. SERIOUSLY AKU TAK TAU DIE KETUK PAKAI APA, GILA KUAT DUH. AKU TRUS SMS DIE TANYA KENAPA PECAHKAN PINTU MCM TU, DIE REPLY DIE CKP DIE PANIK, AKU CKPLA KAT DIE APSAL TAK CALL LOCKSMITH DIE CKP DIE BLUR PADAHAL NO PHONE LOCKSMITH ADE AKU TAMPAL KAT PINTU DPN , KAU MMG SIAL LA PEREMPUAN. KAU BAYANGKANLA SKRG DIE KENA GANTI SATU PINTU BETUL, BRP PLAK LA KAN COSTNYA. DIE CKP KAT AKU NANTI DIE GANTI, GANTI APANYA SEWA RUMAH PUN KAU TAK BAYA2. COST GANTI PINTU TU MAU DEKAT 500 OKAY. SO SAMPAI SKRG PUN DIE X GANTI PINTU ITU WPUN AKU DAH REMIND BYK KALI DGN ALASAN TAKDE DUIT. HAIHHHH SO SEMENJAK KEJADIAN ITU AKU MMG TERUK GILA SAKIT HATI DGN DIE. AKU NI MMG X BLH SAKIT HATI SKIT DGN ORG, MMG AKU AKAN JADI PENDENDAM.

LPS KEJADIAN PINTU, TBA2 KETTLE AKU PLAK ROSAK. AKU MMG BENGANG OKAY, SBB DIE NI MMG ADE TABIAT KALAU MASAK AIR, DIE TAK TUTUP PUN SUIS LPS AIR TU MASAK. SO KETTLE TU CAM LOSTLA, DAH CONFUSE MASAK KE TAK SBB BILA TAK MASAK PUN SUIS TERPASANG , BILA MASAK PUN SUIS TERPASANG, MAKA TRUS ROSAK. SBB MMG AKU SURE SGT BKN AKU YG GUNA KETTLE TU LAST. DAHLA KEJADIAN NI BERLAKU MASE BULAN PUASA GAK . SAKIT HATI AKU, SO TERPAKSALA AKU BELI THERMOS POT TRUS LETAK DLM BILIK. AMIK KAU SEGALA BARANG AKU LETAK DLM BILIK SKRG, DAHLA BILIK AKU NI DAH PENUH DGN BRG2 PERSONAL. NI NAK BAWAK MASUK SEGALA MCM ELECTRICAL GOODS PLAK KAN. BENGANG SIAL.

LPS TU DAPUR AKU PUN ROSAK, NTAH KENAPA NTAH, TERPAKSA GAK AKU BELI BARU.

DAN MALAM NI, YG PLG MENYEBABKAN AKU MMG DAH TERASA CAM INCREDIBLE HULK ADALAH COLLAGEN INSTANT AKU DAH TINGGAL HALF BLH TAK? BLH TAK DIE AMIKKKKKKKKKKK WEH TANPA KEBENARAN AKU. ACTUALLY LYN BAR BG AKU 3 KOTAK COLLAGEN SELASA HR TU, DLM SATU KOTAK ADE 10 PACK, SO BY RIGHT AKU MMG MINUM SEHARI SKALI AKU BARU MINUM 3 PAKET MMG 3 PAKET PUN. SO BILA PG TD AKU NAK MINUM AKU TGK EHH APSAL DAH TINGGAL 7, TP AKU CAM BLUR2 LA. PASTU BILA TADI BALIK AKU TGK KOTAK TU TERBUKAK, BILA AKU TGK DLM KOTAK TINGGAL 4 JE OKAY , 4 PAKET JE TINGGAL :(. MAKNANYA DIA AMIK 3 PAKETTTTT. DLM MASA TAK SAMPAI 2 HARI. MAK AII KAU MENTEKDARAH KE APA. GILA !! AKU MMG BENGANG LA, SBB AKU BAJET COLLAGEN TU UTK SEBULAN , SBB TU AKU BELI BYK TRUS SBB TAK LA SUSAHKAN LYN DUK ASYIK MENGANTAR JE KAT AKU KAN. BLH TAK COLLAGEN TU PUN DIE AMIK GUNA. SIAP AMIK LEBIH TU TAK TAHAN. KALAU KAU NAK MENGEMBALIKAN KEREMEJAAN KAU !!! KAU BELILAH SENDIRI. DAMN AHHH. TU YG AKU RASA NAK MENGAMUK GILA JE. MAKA TERPAKSALA AKU LETAK COLLAGEN BERKOTAK2 NI DLM BILIK AKU JUGAK!. DAHLA JUG BESAR POT THERMOS SEMUA DAH ADE DLM BILIK AKU NI. SEMAKKKKK GILA AKU RASA. TAKKAN SEME MENDE AKU NAK ANGKUT BWK MASUK DLM BILIK NI. GILA APA. SUMPAHLA DIE NI MMG TAK TAU MALU . FYI, DAH 2 BLN DIE X BAYA SEWA. AKU DAH X TAHU NAK CKP APA DAH. PADAHAL KEJE, NTAHLA MMG PENAT AKU PK.

DAHLA DLM SJRH K, ADE LELAKI DUK TERJERIT2 NAMA DIE DPN PINTU RUMAH AKU, KUAT GILA PLAK TU, MALU AKU , AKU INGAT SAPA LA TERJERIT2 DPN RUMAH AKU, RUMAH AKU DAHLA APARTMENT, BLH TAK BALAK DIE DUK PANGGIL2 NAMA DIE KUAT GILA. SAMPAI AKU BUKAK PINTU G TGK SAPA KAT LUAR. BALAK DIE NAK MASUK, AKU X BG PASTU DIE SURUH AKU PANGGILKAN, SORY TAK KUASA AKU MAKA AKU SUH DIE SMS OR CALL JE HOUSEMATE AKU. ADALAH FEW TIMES JUGAK KEJADIAN NI BERLAKU. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SIAL LA KAU.

SO SKRG NI AKU DECIDE, DIE BAYA JE SEWA DUA BULAN, AKU SUH DIE KLUAR, AKU TAK PULANGKAN DEPOSIT DIE DAN LANTAKLA AKU TANGGUNG JE LA COST BAIKI PINTU TU KALAU MMG MORE THAN DIE PUNYE DEPOSIT. DR AKU SAKIT HATI CAMNI, STIAP KALI BALIK KEJE ...

INILAH CERITA DI SEBALIK STATUS FB AKU. SERIOUS IF U WERE IN MY CONDITION, KAU AKAN TAU BETAPA SAKITNYA HATI AKU. SBNRNYA BANYAK LG AKU X TAK TULIS TP INI JELAH STKT NI YG BLH AKU INGAT TTG KESIALAN HOUSEMATE AKU NI.

you know you love me

2010-10-19T00:21:00.002+08:00

i always love chics drama. went crazy with jastina years ago about OC and now i just cant get Gossip Girl out of my head. it is like a DRUG for me. i am so addicted with this kind of dramas, teenagers, pretty faces, lifestyle of rich and famous, all bout fashion, dressing up, pretty clothes, cute flats and pumps, owhh and its so much of things that i love and the list goes on. i am so in love with Nate, he is so handsome, so calm, so kind and he is so stupid as well. but i love Chuck too because of his charming and his love towards Blair like sgt melting okay. I really sounds like 17 years old girl yg crazy and obsess with handsome guy kan LOL. but i just cant help, i know im not alone bcoz jastina as my forever coop pun adalah sama perangai mcm saya jugak. sgt2 obses dgn character2 in OC and Gossip Girl. Rindu sgt time sama2 download series OC and watching together and siap buat review tak puas hati bla bla bla. owh by the way, i really hate LILY VAN DER WOODSEN! she is really a sick woman!!!!

one thing i hate about me growing up is i giving up a lot of things that i love to do. such as watching back to back my favourites drama series, reading a lot of books, updating my blog :p, spending time with my parents etc etc. almost 3 months i bought this novel "Twenties Girl" i dont even finish to read half of the book ! im carrying it anywhere i go, but still i couldnt manage to finish it. it is not me after all, i always can finish my novel in less than 2 days if i really concentrate on it. seems now i can even gear up my mood to complete it. or probably that novel its not fancy enough. i wonder.

talking about growing up. who can give me real definition of being matured? i dont think we can find someone that 100% matured in every aspect of her life right? for me, being matured is how you want to turn yourself to wherever you go and whatever the situation is. how you handle the situation. people can be very serious when he is working, handling office work, fully concetrate on his task but after work, during leisure time, during dinner or lunch he can just being laid back talking stupid things to ease the tension. he can go into serious talk, giving thoughts depends on the topic of conversation. he can be very funny, very childish when surrounding by his family or love ones. he can be very wise when someone need opinions and even just give 2cents to give more option to others. he can just be clinging and sensitive when something touched his heart. for me being matured is when you know how to react, how to adapt,how to act depending on the situation that you are in. most of people just pretending being matured, just for the sake of getting compliment how good his attitude is, i dont want to be that. some people do think that being matured is a proof that you are clever ! i hate people who try so hard dressing up so she can look mature. i hate the looks, i hate that really. i hate being matured coz i used to be the person that trying so hard to be called as matured person. i hate the phase. i hate the phase when im trying hard for everything and it's ended up eating me back.

i prefer being wise. i prefer growing up. i prefer makes mistake and learn from that. i'm sorry im writing this. guess that im too tired being the tough one !

lazy sunday

2010-10-17T16:53:00.003+08:00

having cloud nine wafret twins since i woke up until now. pernah makan tak? i really love this wafret, normally i will buy this wafret when i did groceries at Rompin. having almost 20 nieces and nephew i will go for something cheaper but not so lousy in terms of taste for the junk food and i found that i am the one who really LOVE it. It is cloud nine after all, who whould say no to that ? weeee.

i bought a packet of wafret ni b4 balik rumah after work last friday. skrg tgh takde mood utk makan nasi. actually bkn nasi la. takde mood utk makan lauk pauk nasi. rasa nak muntah, tp ku telan jua sbb mmg dah tak tau nak makan apa. nak makan goreng2 lagila ku tak lalu gila. i would want to go for western tp bila tgk kat downstairs stall , trus rasa tak nak makan. i would always prefer noodles. tp ntahla, appetite pun dah a bit kurang sgt. slalu craving for char kuey tiaw, tp masyaAllah puchong ni mmg susah gila nak cr melayu jual makanan. tp makanan lauk pauk skrg ni mmg aku dah x lalu gila, ntahla maybe everyday kerja, so apa2pun lunch kena makan kan. dah x byk option. aku rasa skrg ni aku dah terlampau rindu air tangan mak aku kot. masalah aku ni plak, takkan nak amik ayam everyday kan. serius muak gila. i dont really eat ikan kat sini kecuali ikan keli. sbnrnya aku sgt hantu ikan, lauk aku kat rompin pun adalah ikan bakar everyday. ye bonda kesayangan adalah akan menyediakan ikan bakar ALMOST everyday. ikan bakar tu bkn mcm ikan bakar kat sini, ade campur2 bende lain, ade kan org gaul kunyit la apa la. mak aku punye style, siang je ikan basuh trus balut dgn daun pisang dan bakar, kat tanah lagi tau jerang api org panggil. so bayangkanla kau mmg rasa betul kefreshsan ikan yg di bakar tu sbb 100% mmg rasa ikan, okay mase aku tgh tulis ni cam air liur aku dah meleleh2 kot. so ikan yg 100% tanpa campuran apa2 tu di makan dgn kicap berlada, air asam atau tempoyak. sememangnya fave aku and everyday pun aku makan itu kalau di rompin. aku x brp suka makan ikan kat sini, nak tau knp ? but sorry to say aku rasa sgt tak FRESH. yekk nak muntah. yelah konfirmla kalau jual2 kat kedai2 makanan tu takdelah fresh mana kan. so nasib la aku ade kakak kat sini yg suka masak and suka membeli bahan2 mentah di pasar borong dan memanggil adik2nya dtg makan di rumah :d.

aku tgk mostly org suka beli ikan, ayam, udang sotong n daging2 kat hypermarket. ermmm wonder why sbb aku rasa bahan2 mentah tu dah lama kot. ntahla. aku rasa kalau org yg berkeluarga better beli bahan2 mentah di pasar borong atau pasar malam, more fresh kan. actually aku pun kalau time mood aku nak masak mmg beli je dr giant or tesco, katanya aku duk sorang2, mcm tak kuasa plak nak g beli kat pasar borong kan. but i will definitely, if i get married one day semestinya pasar, pasar malam and pasar borong adalah tempat wajib aku g every week utk beli bahan2 mentah. sorry, tp aku mmg tak prefer lansung bahan2 mentah yg dibeli di hypermarket.

mcm kat rompin kan, adelah hypermarket terbesar yg wujud di rompin itu namanya adalah Tunas Manja. semenjak tunas manja tu duk start jual ayam yg tlh disiang2 dan dibungkus di dalam pek, sayur, dan berbagai lg bahan mentah, setiap kali aku g tunas manja tu aku tgk mak aii ramainya org melayu pegi beli bahan2 mentah tu kat stu. confuse jap aku. haruskah kau blh tgk dgn kepala mata kau sendiri yg mmg tak fresh lnsng pun. ade skali tu aku tgk makcik ni, bkn main lg berpek2 ayam die beli, apa kesengalnya makcik, silala pegi ke pasar baru yg besar lg bersih yg berharga 1 juta tu utk membeli segala bende yg makcik beli tu. sayur pun duk g beli kat stu, terang2an kot sayur tu mmg teratai layu di tasik madu. aku tgk muka die cam bangga gila kot beli brg2 itu di Tunas Manja. alahai makcik kesiannya aku rasa. apakah gunanya kau duduk di rompin tp tdk makan makanan yg fresh. dahla mmg lagi mahal semestinya.melayu lupa diri kah? ntah aku pun x sure. tp mmg trend sgt2. bila aku balik rumah, seperti biasalah aku ni mmg ringan je mulut bergosip pasal masyarakat di rompin ni dgn bapak aku, so aku pun cite. ayah aku ckp mmg pun die pun tau. ramai gak kwn2 die yg duk ckp pasal trend masyarakat kat rompin ni yg suka benor beli bhn2 mentah kat tunas manja tu. sia2 je barisan nasional buat jeti 8 juta kat rompin ni, hangpa still g beli frozen stuff kat tunas manja.

why i write about this stuff plak. ehhee teremo jap bila teringat2 balik scenario di rompin. no offense actually to those yg suka beli bhn2 mentah di hypermaket. its ur option anyway. its just my 2 cents. and actually no wonder la hari ini aku x rasa nak masak or kluar beli makanan, sbbnya br dpt sms yg my sister otw ke KL with a LOT of mom's food. yeayy. so nak masak nasi je and wait for my dear sister sampai dgn lauk pauk dr rompin. last week ke or las 2 week, pun after work dpt makan lauk pauk from rompin sbb my sister pun tba2 dtg sini sbb ade work interview and kebetulan i called my mom and she asked nak lauk dr rompin tak ? of course la jgn ditanya, so i just end up not having anything that day , only makan cekodok beli b4 dtg keje and wait for dinner time sbb nak makan masakan mak saya :d. ikan 3 ekor lg k.

okay nak g jogging. today target 1 hour of running and walking.

hanyuttttttttt

2010-10-10T22:55:00.002+08:00

had 45 minutes of jogging and walking this evening, and i was so pancittt okay. mengah gila, sakit dada bagai. shud really constantly do jogging at lease every weekend for 30 mins but i always have thousands of reason to NOT to do it. shud work out more. be more healthy !

my sweetheart yda finally came back for good from Germany pada hari raya kedua. alyn n me sgt gembira okay. so when i got to know that she came to KL for a week to settle those JPA thingy, cepat2 ask how her schedule look like, gonna find sometime to meet up ! on that week, i was on leave on one of the day, kena jd driver Osman, so around 4 pm otw to send back osman to his office i texted her and she said she was heading to KLCC at that time and i was like yeayy, blh jumpa since KLCC is just few steps from osman's office. so g dating kat DOME sgtlah lama gtu dan saya adalah sgt lapar krn had early lunch and kat DOME pun hanyalah minum. Osman joined us after work and benci gila kerana yda and me waited for him sgtlah lama bila die excuse us nak g magrib tersgtla lama dgn phone tak bawaknya , and rupa2nya blh die siap baca yassin tahlil bagai kat As syikirin tu sbb mlm jumaat. mase die informed us knp die lmbt, both of us like haruskah masa2 ini kau nak g baca yassin kan. sayang oh sayang, kan yda dah trus suka u buat perangai mcm ni ^-^.

we asked yda, what she want to eat for dinner. byk gila suggest tmpt2 yg menjd kesukaan osman n me, since yda stay kat setapak, so kitaorg decide nak try that area je. maka kami semua pergi makan kat nasi ayam dara. the funniest part is when we reached there, siap ade announcement , "starting tomorrow 1.10.10 harga nasi akan dinaikkan kpd rm 6" and we were lucky enough just on time ehehe !. tp lama gila kot nak dpt almost sejam br dpt makanan coz nasi tgh masak and ramai gila org that time. yda makan sampai habis licin k. then osman drove us round kwsn setapak , setapak is so dear to yda as her Nik adalah org setapak. g tgk pasaraya yg nik pernah keje, mamak nik suka lepak, masjid derang bakal bernikah nanti satu setapak tu la pusing sambil mendgr kisah sejarah setapak dr osman. till midnight jugakla kami hang out, and yda ni plak tak menyabar2 nak get online nak citer kat Nik pasal tmpt2 yg die pergi td . best kan dear ! ehehe. can imagine in future, nanti raya you alyn and me akan pergi raya rumah future MIL masing2 , kata semua adalah berjiran kan2, InsyaAllah. ala best kan yda, alyn dah get really excited okay. InsyaAllah , Amin.

On saturday, awal2 pagi lagi bgn despite having real back pain, from puchong went fetch her again kat WangsaMas, i was her driver on that day. then patah balik puchong for our 1st open house, rumah Lyn. mereka berdua ni dah kenal each other, coz mase mmu lyn pun slalu folo kalau kitaorg berdue jumpa. owh lyn mmg always follow kitaorg punye gathering :p. then ktaorg gerak pergi rumah ALINAAAAAAAAA. hehe alyn dah tak saba2 okay nak jumpa yda. amik kau nasibla ramai sedara mara kat alyn, kang buat pasal je. three of catching up there, and few bdk2 muadzam dtg, nisa' , mirul daeng ... joint us. supposedly nak g rumah Ogy kat putrajaya, tp at that time dah after 4, nak rush g another open house kat wangsa maju lg, si nisa plak byk songeh plak nak naik satu kereta kalau tak x nak joint, so mcm apa kejadahnyakan nak berpatah2 balik dr subang ke putrajaya balik semula ke subang dan pergi wangsa maju plak, dgn mmg EXTREMELY JAMMED that day (mrr2 kul 10 pg dah jem gila nak mampos) so decide tak jd la g. sengal okay nisa' , nasib anak kau comel kalau tak ehehe :p. so rush plak g rumah my parents angkat, Zul n Zureen , derang ni duduk kondo dpn kondo yda je , sgt bestkan. lgpun Osman pun dah tunggu kat stu. kami kat rumah zureen mcm lama gila kot, sampai yda siap dah nak tertdo2 dah, siap trus dpt no ustaz wan, berkenalan dgn kawan baik pn sempawan bagai. mak zul adalah kawan baik kepada pengetua and naib pengetua mrsm kitaorg. so pjg la citernya, tp si yda la layan, aku malas nak masuk cmpr hahaa sbb tgh layan pening tunggu si Osman ni tak dtg2 padahalnya rumah die cam 5 minit je dr rumah zul . 3 jam lbh gtu aku n yda kat rumah zul. huhu. dgn bateri aku dah kong gila, si yda plak prepaid dah abis, n dan2 shai, ex housemate yda kat german call ckp nak antar brg2 yda ade 2 3 kotak masa tu jugak. so mcm sbb si shai ni stranded dlm jam, maka Osman sekali lg duk bawak kitaorg round area setapak lg nak bg yda ingat trus letak dlm minda pasal setapak :p. si shai plak terpaksa tunggu kitaorg.so berangkat2 la plak brg2 tp kami x tolong sbb yda tertinggal beg die dlm kereta ku, maka kena patah balik rumah zul g kat kete aku sbb td naik kete Osman. pening kan? hehee sian yda, x smpt kami nak tolong angkat kotak.

tp 2 hr spent dgn yda tu sgt besta. seriously rindu gila dgn yda. byk gila korek balik kisah kat mrsm ahaha. so much of memories, mmg siap maki kutuk2 balik kisah2 yg terjadi. i dont really cerita kat Osman kisah2 aku masa kat muadzam dulu, tp hr tu terlopong jugakla die dgr kisah2 bdk2 mrsm yg x makan saman ni. mcm sapa percaya kan bdk2 mrsm gila jahat nak mampus kan, aku pun x percaya sbb mase aku mula2 masuk dulu , aku masuk form 4, siap nangis ckp kat yda aku nak quit mrsm sbb bdk2 die sgtla KURANG AJAR LAKI PEREMPUAN SAMA JE . tp dlm sekelip mata je aku trus jd part of them ahaha. blh tak, mase mula2 aku dgr derang ckp perkataan SIAL, aku nangis duh, aku x pernah ckp mende2 mcm tu.. skali skrg sial tu adalah mcm kata2 pujian plak utk aku heheehe.

so many things to reminisce back, share byk sgt cerita. cant wait for our "europe" trip again sometime next month, three of us again like last time yeay. cepat2 dpt kerja tau yda, so blh trus stay kat KL .

waiting for the morning to come

2010-08-07T12:47:00.002+08:00

actually aku sgt suka writing and reading. i used to really love this two things. i love writing and reading the most compare to shopping and cooking. dulu masa sklh, aku suka buat karangan, i wrote a lot of karangan , mcm2 la ntah aku pun dah x ingat. sampai aku pernah masuk pertandingan menulis karangan peringkat negeri lagi u. mcm mase tu aku blh buat karangan ayat2 yg hebat la, betul tak tipu. and aku x pernah dpt gred lain selain A utk karangan, tatabahasa and grammar mcm terbaik dlm kehidupan mcm tu

tp dulu aku xdela tulis karangan kisah pasal hidup aku or what i felt kan. cam apakahlaa plak. skrg ni je la kat dlm blog ni je sbb skrg ni bukannya ade org nak mark and give grades to my entry pun :d. nowadays mcm i always wanted to write something here, but end up giving excuses not to write anything, as if mcm ade je org baca blog aku ni. kwn2 rapat je la kan, not that i have fan or what. apakah aku ni .

hmmm actually aku ni sgtla jenis memendam perasaan tahap naruto sipudeen. mmg tersgt2. aku mmg jenis tahap secretive about my ownself, problems seme bende la berkaitan diri aku . tp kalau pasal org lain, aku mmg cepat je. aku ni bkn jenis yg simpan rahsia, kalau stkt gosip2 ofis or jika bende2 tu bukan tahap sampai mengaibkan org, mmg biasanya aku akan cite2 jugak kat org lain espc kat Lyn and Alyna. mcm for the sake of cite n nak share something. mcm most people akan kenal aku dgn kuat bergosip n tak blh simpan rahsia. but but but aku sendiri pun x pernah percaya yg aku ni adalah sgt kuat menjaga rahsia and menyimpan segala perasaan and keep it to myself sorang2. kalau bende tu menyedihkan, aku tanggung sorang2 sampaila aku blh lupa, kalau x blh lupa, aku buat bodoh je, biar je la aku layan sorang2.

why im writing about this. ntahla, maybe skrg tahap depression aku sgt tinggi. and most of the time im not happy. i dont feel at ease. cepat sgt nak marah2. aku kesian kat diri sendiri. rasa mcm my life stuck, not moving at all even an inch. beli buku Twenties Girl pun tak abis2 sampai skrg, dah about a month. what happen to me? i always end up tido je whenever im at home. samada di puchong or back at rompin. mcm bilik aku ni dah kena jampi kot, always feel sleepy.

cant wait for the morning to come. nak g jungle trekking, to do some exercise. always being pushed to do hiking, but i dont dare to do yet la... lets start with simple and easy trekking dulu. sian Osman asyik ajak but i always refuse, dont really like jungle , i prefer island :d. so 1st time la willing to follow him, dah nak puasa baru buat. if i can survive, definitely akan more to come.

what is wrong with me

2010-08-06T22:59:00.002+08:00

being sick now. cant remember clearly, but as far as i concerned, since new year until today, almost every month i fall sick, fever , not only mild fever but high fever ! dont know whose to blame or what to blame. i can easily blame the weather, yeah with extremely HOT during the day, and very DARN FREEZING in the office, raining in the evening... my body cant cope very well.

i still remember the day after the night i said yes to the other heart, to take his heart away to the moon, i fell sick. took half day leave and went back home, and he was like very down at that time. Reason because he thought he was the reason i fell sick, said "feel like something bad about me thats why you sakit". yelah, mlm sblmnya and pagi tu pegi keje, aku punyela sikit punye happy tba2 tghari tu demam , mmg sgt tiba2 okay aku demam. and yes since that time, i mmg sakit almost every month ehehehe. so should i blame him ?

but this month , mcm very worst la. sampai tahap aku rasa cam dah depression because of my health confidition. duit x yah ckp la, mmg spent for medical expenses je every month, kalau dulu, medical claim since aku start working, blh kira brp je aku claim kecuali mase aku kena appendix thats another story la kan. skrg mcm every month akan claim, mmgla its not very expensive pun but for me, the more i used my money for medical expenses means only one thing, that my health condition is getting poorer and its not a good thing.

i just recovered for 2 days mc last week, with very heavy cough. so on weekend i went back to my hometown. didnt sleep at all, and 5 am drove back to Rompin, sampai 9 am. dad already off to his ladang, so having bfast with my mum. then 12 pm all of us went to Pekan, ayahku yg drive so i can relax. then kat Pekan, kitaorg g dusun arwah nenek utk kait rambutan yg berpokok2 byk gila, i really went crazy. mcm selama2 ni i never went there pun nak pick the rambutans. tapi biasalah excited skjp je aku ni, coz being me im so lazy utk memetik buah2 rambutan lgpun mcm kena sound dgn makcik aku so lglah aku buat muka seposen je, like 5 minutes je pastu aku pun joint parents duduk dlm rumah. so my younger sisters yg kutip semua rambutan yg dah kena kait oleh my uncle utk kitaorg bawak balik rompin.

aku kan batuk teruk, tp masa makan kenduri, pakcik aku duk letak rambutan bertimbun kat tepi aku. so aku tanyalah die, pakcik blh makan ke rambutan kalau batuk, dgn hebatnya die ckp, makan je, takde mende. aku ni mcm agak feveret la rambutan ni kan so byk gak la aku melantak. masa kat dusun tu lg trus kutip masuk mulut je. bila balik rompin ptg tu, mak aku plak duk paksa aku makan durian ayah aku tanam. sbnrnya ayah aku tanam sawit tp ayah aku saje duk tanam sepokok dua durian, and alhamdulilah mmg rasanya almost every year berbuah elok, so mmg ayah aku duk bawak balik durian dan die mmg adalah hantu durian. so aku pun lps makan rambutan dgn byknya, makan plak durian, dgn tiada siapa menegah pun hatta ibunda ku. maka malam tu dgn lg hebat aku batuk. sekian terima kasih. so bila si Osman ni tahu yg aku duk makan rambutan n durian dgn hebat, menyinga la die sebentar dan terasa amat pelik kenapa parents aku allow aku duk makan buah2an tu padahal aku mmg batuk teruk n tgh on medication pun. hmmm aku tau kalau x sbb aku kat rompin, mesti konfirm lg teruk aku kena marah tp disbbkan i was with my parents maka dia adelah blh menyinga sbntr je la. ye la he is type yg byk pantang, aku ni jenis belasah je. then aku pun duk tanya mak aku, apsal kasi aku makan buah2 tu, being her, i knew her very well die ckp makan sikit, tak nak bg aku x makan, bkn sng nak balik kampung. then die ckp, kalau nak mkn buah2 ni jugak, tak yah amik ubat so i stop taking medicine trus wpun antibiotik aku demam segala batuk tak baik lagi hehe.

aku rasa last weekend balik rompin, mmg aku lost appetite gila2. tak pernah dlm sejarah, normally kalau aku balik rompin, mmg konfirm la 2 3 pinggan aku makan nasi wpun mak aku hanya masak ikan bakar n sayur air je. dahla siap mcm bila lunch , aku x saba plak nak tunggu dinner sbb nak makan nasi lg hehe. tp balik aritu aku pun risau dgn selera aku sendiri. balik kenduri tu tapau makanan from pekan pun, takde org makan except my parents aje. adik2 aku mmg bantai tdo je, aku tdo masa magrib, pastu adik aku ni duk halau aku dr katil die nak kemas katil so aku end up terkebil2 kat sofa dpn tv, sampaila ke tgh malam tanpa makan apa2. air pun x minum.

pagi2 esoknya. adik aku duk bising masa aku tgh tdo, dia tanya aku nak makan bihun goreng ke or nasi goreng. aku pun tanya , sapa masak? die ckp die masak so aku ckpla ikut jela kalau nasi goreng pun aku okay je. sbnrnya mase sampai pagi smlm tu, aku ckp kat mak aku nak bihun goreng, tp adik aku ni g masak mee goreng plak, aku ni mmg hantu bihun goreng kan. adik aku ni plak mmg rajin n suka masak, nak compare ngan aku mmgla aku hanya mengorder makanan saja yg aku tau. so bila aku bgn semua dah makan nasi goreng marjerin yg sedap. adik aku ni mmg pandai masak, aku x pernah tau mcmmana nak buat nasi goreng marjerin tu sbnrnya wpun aku tau adlh sgt sng. aku pun makan la ala kadar sbb mmg seriously aku lost appetite gila2, tba2 mak aku ni duk masak bihun goreng plak sekuali. apakah sapa nak makan, dahla actually kitaorg semua kena masak lunch utk makan dlm 20 org sbb ade majlis penerangan rombongan pergi Umrah under my dad kat rumah tu. so ayah aku nak buat makan2 laa terus after briefing session tu. so mmg byk gila lauk and mak aku plak masak kari kegemaran, tp aku tak usik lansung okay. sungguh xde appetite. tak pernah dlm sejarah hidup aku x usik kari mak aku masak , sgt sedih. aku hanya makan nasi putih n ikan bakar je dgn sambal lada. ptg tu trus aku kronik gila x sihat balik, hmmm x demam, tp aku rasa really fatigue. so aku end up tdo je, n adik aku gerak aku dlm kul 5 ptg ckp ayah aku suh balik pagi2 esok.

so pagi2 lagi, kul 5 pagi aku drive balik ke KL sbb keje kan. i dont want to take leave. sesampai je di ofis dlm kul 10 trus aku rasa mabuk gila dgn dasyatnya,. dan mabuk tu tidakla hilang lansung sampaila sekarang, LIKE SERIOUSLY. mmg aku mabuk, dizzy mcm org pregnant. aku dizzy 24 hours, asyik tdo, rasa nak pitam je , cant drive, cant focus, mata ku sakit, i lost appetite gila2. aku x blh tgk makanan aku rasa nak muntah, i cant even finish my meallllll ! sampai aku mc hr rabu lps sbb bila aku bgn pagi, aku rasa nak jatuh, nak pitam , i know i cant drive... teruk gila aku rasa.

dan skrg aku mmg teramat2 depress because of my health condition :(

our madagascar friend

2010-06-05T20:41:00.002+08:00

i almost thought that madagascar never exist in real world... well because Madagascar movie is way more famoussssssss than the country itself. and the movie is in cartoon anyway so i found it so weird when actually i met one person from madagascar for realllll !

this is our story .... about few months ago, osman and me went to alamanda to go catch a movie. so before that we went to food court to have some food. when we were at beverages counter, i saw a wallet next to osman, abandoned and i was like, alamak ade org tercicir wallet. so i forced osman, crazily forced him to take the wallet ( and now i wonder why i forced him so bad to take the wallet, why dont i just took it by myself instead of forcing him :P). being him, i knew he will never want to get involved on things like this. but still he took the wallet. we waited at the counter for about 10 minutes in case someone came back to the counter to pick up the lost wallet. at that time, i was so afraid that if we didnt took the wallet, and someone else does, chances that someone else is a good guy might be 1% only. that someone probably a bad person and will took off all the money, credit card etc etc and throw the wallet to the dustbin, i cant imagine how frustrated and sad the owner of the wallet if he cant find his wallet back.

we decided to have our meals first and later think what should we do with the wallet. we thought of giving to Alamanda security but when we think of all the guards normally bangla, myanmar bla bla , we dont want to do that. then we think of to give it to police. thats much more better and way safer. believe me, both of us so scared to open the wallet, u know im so scared to open the wallet to check the IC, personal belongings bla bla bla and again, i forced osman to open the wallet to check if there is any business card inside, probably we can trace the owner. we were so surprised when we saw UN/WHO/UNICEF of seriously i cant remember , but those the PBB organization identification inside the wallet and the guy name is Andry bla bla bla , so long i just can remember his first name. osman and me like, ehh dia ni org apa, ni org kedutaan ni, gila ahh... the only malaysian ID inside the wallet is his driving license. and inside the wallet semuanya adalah PBB related card. okay mase tu cam cuak gila, and tanpa disangka2, osman managed to found a piece of paper with phone number, and he thought maybe that will be the owner's number. so osman called the number, and yess it is the owner who picked up the phone. osman asked him to come over to food court and thanks God he still in Alamanda looking for his wallet. he cant go back anyway because parking ticket in the wallet. when we met him and return back the wallet, his face look so relieved and he said he looking around the mall to trace his wallet back, he couldnt remember where he lost the wallet. he non stop said thank you to both of us, osman trying to be nice asked him where he coming from and he said " FROM MADAGASCAR" , both of us terbeliak biji mata skjp kat situ. mcm what on earth we met someone from Madagascar, mcm is this real ? hahahaa. Andry was so glad and thankful that we took and keep his wallet. he even asked us if we want to buy anything, he would want to pay. we said no to him, said that we really sincere to help him (we dont even look how much money inside the wallet okay) then dgn selambanya si Andry ni tanya, do u have kids? and i pun trus ckp we are not married yet and told him that its okay we dont need anything from him. he said goodbye to us and few minutes later he came back to us, giving us Foot Massage voucher, at first i refuse to take but then osman giving his eye contact to me and i took the voucher from Andry, at least to makes him happy. During our movie time, Andry sms me back, said thanks again and told us if he cant find back his wallet that night, he will be in a big problem because he need to travel in few days,nature of his work. So we really thought thats the end of our madagascar friend story until..................
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last sunday i received his sms again !. told me that he went to Switzerland and brought a lot of chocolate for us !!! can u imagine that, i was so shocked to receive his sms. he want to meet for dinner dis sunday and when i told osman bout this, being him biasalah trus je " la tak abis lg ke cerita si andry ni" . but being me i am so excitedddddddddd, sgt suka berkawan dgn people outside from malaysia... i ade best friend kat belgium ok :d. and when i replied his sms , told him that how he surprised me with his sms and thought, and u know what he replied " I have to say that you made the end of that experience so great that i always think about how I can do such huge difference with other people" . that the most a very very meaningful words for me which makes me so happy, so glad that if osman doesn't want to come along to the dinner i would be alright to go alone :d.

like what Darkwan said (sbb dia pun amat terkesan dgn seorang stranger yg menolong die ketika dlm kesusahan :d, so he really felt Andry hehe) when i told him this story, yes sometimes a total stranger really can make us change our perspective of life. like in my case, Andry is a foreigner here, with no relatives, probably dont have much friends and when he was at the most difficult time a total stranger came from nowhere became his savior.

osman said "lets make him as our good friend". yeah he definitely will be our good friend selagi die di Malaysia. we will definitely be so glad to help him :). cant wait tomorrow, i want to take picture with him hehhee.

Picking up where i left

2010-05-23T02:00:00.002+08:00

as the saying goes " kita hanya mampu merancang, Tuhan yg menentukan segala2nya". inilah yg terjadi pada kehidupan ku ketika ini.

aim apa yg nak dilakukan utk tahun ini dah byk sgt tersasar especially my plan nak sambung master. kalau ikutkan nak selfish, nak ikut kemahuan diri sendiri saja, nak follow my own plan je. tapi itula masalahnya adalah im not a person who can concentrate with so many things at a time, mesti akan ade bende yg terbiar ditinggalkan wpun adalah priority sama penting dgn bende2 lain.

work really makes me calm. since moved team and new position, i really got nothing to complaint. like seriously. no extra work to carry back home. not even once. the job is finish when my office hour finish, i really can go back everyday with a smile on my face.

thanks to my new job, i've finally give some space to my own life. without im realized it, its either im ready or not, i dont really have a choice. never thought this is going very fast, it so fast i feel suffocate sometimes. giving in so much for this, i know i need to put on hold for my every dreams. but i know i got to fight with my own selfishness coz the other heart is so fragile, my whole time i spent to take care of it.

anyway, life is great after all. Alhamdullilah, even i didnt start anything yet dgn angan2ku utk menjahit tp another plan yg tak disangka2 tlh dtg iaitu business minyak kelapa dara . tahun ni mcm semua bende terjadi dgn tiba2, sgt gembira ~!

okay skrg perasaan utk membeli rumah adalah sgt hebat. dah tak saba nak kluarkan duit kwsp utk beli rumah wkakaka. feel like i cant wait anymore to have my own house. lately asyik surfing pasal home design and decoration.... dah going insane ! but yes i have to wait, yes i have to wait.... the other heart, hmmmm.

Loving the music from the jungle

2010-02-16T08:01:00.005+08:00

If you were there during the night, in the jungle, by the river, bonfire as a company, having classic voice singing below song with the coolest percussions I've ever saw, I must be the lucky person to be welcome to this group. The other group of people that i just met, the other lifestyle that i just known ever exist in this big city, the other stories of life that would be in my collection of collecting people's experience and suprisingly I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I know its a lot to explore and being me im always open for a new things in my life. And im so glad that i get the chance to "meet" this, and "being" there last night and i know i will be "part" of this one day. Thanks to you that show me "this" world. It feels so good to be in the opposite side of my ordinary and lame life.

p/s i will show the pictures during the jamming session

Lagu: Anak Lima

Mau ke mana adik yang manis
Jalan sendiri tiada berkawan
Di tengah rintiknya hujan gerimis
Badan basah kuyup aduh kasihan

( P )
Aku hendak pergi ke rumah paman
Yang tiada jauh dari kampungku
Tiada kusangka hari 'kan hujan
Hingga basah kuyup seluruh tubuh

( L )
Apakah adik mau abang tolong
Mari bersama kita berpayung

( P )
Akulah sangat terima kasih
Asalkan abang senang di hati

( L )
Omong punya omong abang bertanya
Adik sudahkah ada yang punya

( P )
Sayang-sayang abang janganlah marah
( L )
Kenapa?
( P )
Adik sudahlah punya anak lima

kisah saya and fazlia :)

2010-01-09T21:01:00.003+08:00

gamba kami berdua di KT setibanya dr pulau redang awww

once upon a time , ehehe tiba2 saya rasa mcm nak cerita pasal fazlia kat sini selepas baca entry dayah.

faz hmmmm. sbnrnya byk sgt kisah ttg kitaorg dua org. dulu aku ingat mcm akan jd kawan yg biasa2 je kepada die. tp ntahla, since die masuk keje kat team aku, mcm dah blh berkawan dgn baik :). sampai aku ingat lg, yudis siap tanya kitaorg masa tu cam , baru 2 3 minggu kot faz joint keje kat HP. Yudis tanya korang ni dah kenal since sklh ke? huhu padahal Noli je yg satu sklh ngan faz. tp maybe sbb chemistry kuat kot , dats why Yudis ckp mcm tu. and skrg dah almost a year pun die resign ye ke a year, ntahla aku pun x ingat hahaha, kitaorg tetap keep in touch dgn hebatnya. update gossip adalah plg penting. one thing about us, kitaorg sbnrnya takdela berhubungan dgn sgt hebat, tp the way we keep in touch and remain our closeness adalah the aku rasa the best ever.

wpun faz dah resign, kitaorg slalu je lunch or breakfast sama. at least once a month. because Faz kan a very busy woman, kata anak CEO, so mmg super busy okay! so kalau die ade urusan sekitar HP for sure dia akan drop by to have a lunch with me and port wajib kitaorg adalah MASJID Damansara hehehe. selalunya aku n die je yg lunch berdua, kdg2 ade Amir n Dayah joint. and sometimes, aku pun akan pergi ke Kelana Jaya amik dia kat ofis lunch sama , sweet tak kitaorg ? hehehe.

kegemaran masa lapang kitaorg adalah sesat. wpun kehebatan kami sesat berdua adalah tiada tandingannya , tp kitaorg tetap gagahkan diri utk pergi jua ke tempat2 yg kitaorg kena pergi. Contohnya pergi melawat baby Amir (tp ini x sesat :p), pergi melawat baby Zureen kat rumah mak mentua Zul lg you sampai dihidangkan dinner Lamb yg sgt lazat mcm tu. pegi kenduri kahwin Hairul, ex teammate kitaorg sesat dgn hebatnya mcm tu, pergi ke Nurima for dinner sebanyak 30 kali jugak masih sesat sampai skrg.

yg plg confuse kitaorg slalu sesat di tmpt yg sama. iaitu di kawasan wangsa maju, setiawangsa dan yg sewaktu dgnnya. mesti sesat, pusing2 adlh kat Jelatek, pusing2 balik adlh kat Jusco au2 , pastu kat kedai air gelas besar wesii123. mcm dah 80 kali pegi sana berdua pun kami tetap sesat. setiap kali pun akan dimarahi olh Bangrut dgn hebatnya.

sesat plg hebat adalah apabila jam menghampiri pukul 12 mlm and kami tersalah simpang setelah kluar dr DUKE balik dr rumah zul and trus ke Tol KARAK. saiko x saiko okay... apakah? haruskah aku pulang ke rompin je mcm tu di kala esok pagi masih lg kena bekerja huhu. lepas tu cam dgn bangganya Faz berkata kepada aku yg die telah mempunyai GPS yg telah dibeli olh adik beliau from London. so apabila kami pergi ke majlis perkahwinan Hairul di Ampang, kami pun gunala GPS tu, tp okay malas nak cerita, kerana sesat dgn maha hebat dgn bantuan GPS, cam WHAT THE HELL MCM TU. blh ke dr MRR2, tba2 kitaorg kat federal, pastu tba2 cam nak termasuk ke Jln Klang Lama, pastu kitaorg patah balik sg besi highway masuk jalan istana, lps tu masuk pusat bandaraya and yada yada yada dekat sejam lbh jua barulah sampai ke rumah Hairul di Ampang. padahalnya sbnrnya rumah Faz adlh cam sgt dekat mcm tu dgn rumah Hairul huhu. sgt saiko okay, tp sesat berdua adlh pilihan terbaik drpd sesat sorang2.

the latest kejadian sesat kitaorg adlh masa nak g dinner kat nurima huhu. masih lg menggunakan GPS. tp mmg sumpah kronik gila , siap sesat sampai au5 lps tu au5 tu cam sgt seram takut okay , GPS ckp au5 tu 20 km jauhnya dr nurima cam kitaorg trus freak out gila. mmg bengong okay. biasanya sesat kat area au2, tp mlm tu dah upgrade sesat kepada au5 lg. aku x sure au ade sampai berapa, kalau tak mesti duduk sesat sampai laa takde au lg kot.

okay, so glad yg faz pernah joint trip kitaorg g redang. ingat lg , mase balik aku n faz balik dulu,. zul n the gang still kat redang sbb derang nak diving. so kitaorg berdua, tour bandar KT before naik bas balik KL. siap naik beca segala, g pasar payang, makan nasi dagang kat bus station cam best gila okay. mcm at least before die kawin, aku ade kenangan pergi trip skali ngan die.

hmmm, aku pun slalu je g rumah die. malah aku adalah kakak angkat Tini hahaha, okay aku siap hadiahkan gelang kesayangan aku kat Tini okay :p. ade satu hari tu pun, siap Faz masak lg utk aku, tp aku x brp ingat apsal aku g dtg rumah kau makan. hmmm and Faz slalu akan contact aku di kala ade perkara2 yg penting happen kat aku, seperti mcm tau2 je something happened to me and vice versa. chemistry between us mcm tu.

tp kisah plg x blh lupa, adlh kisah Faz menangis di tepi longkang kedai makan apabila on the phone dgn aku yg jua tgh menangis di seberang sana. cam lawak plak bila zul and amir cite kisah tu. sbb mase aku call faz tu and kitaorg dua menagis adlh mase tu faz kluar dinner skali ngan amir n zul. sumpahla aku rasa kitaorg dua sgt craps.

for me, Fazlia is adalah seorang yg sgt humble yg pernah aku jumpa wpun dgn apa yg die ade skrg. adalah seorang yg sgt down to earth. very simple person, sgt content dgn hidup beliau, mmg aku rasa sng sgt kawan ngan die. maybe ramai org tak tau yg sbnrnya kitaorg berdua agak rapat sbb biasalah dia kan tak suka show off mcm tu... tp ade byk jugak watak aku yg die cerita indirectly dlm blog dia hahaha. org lain tak faham, aku je la yg faham kot dah sah2 pasal aku :p.

byk je sbnrnya kisah suka duka aku ngan faz sepanjang almost 2 years kitaorg kenal. tanyalah Lyn, mmg aku slalu ckp kat Lyn, Fazlia la satu2nya kawan yg aku kenal kat HP yg aku rasa aku x tau nak pk buruk apa pasal die, like i dont really know what is the bad thing about her. seriously, sbb as manusia aku mmg ade sifat buruk, akuselalu je akan ade perasaan dan sifat akan rasa menyampah skit2 kat kawan2 aku, biasalah adlh sgt susah nak suka org itu 100% kan, tp dgn Faz aku mmg owh only God knows :). sgt happy sbb nanti kau akan jd neighbour aku n lyn hehe. if aku buat chocolate cake, i will give extra utk kau jugak cam aku slalu bg kat Lyn.

disebabkan itulah, aku tak teragak2 utk menjadi sepupu die ketika majlis perkahwinan beliau esok. my little gift for you for being my good friend all this while.

8 tahun yg bermakna

2010-01-09T20:45:00.002+08:00

its not exactly 8 years of our friendship. sbb mase kitaorg berjumpa akan became gang adalah di tahun2 yg berlainan. but sng citer start since our foundation year kat mmu la sng kan.got to know Jastina first in our foundation, we were in the same class and group and since start the bonding between us. me as always, not really being friendly to other but with Jas the friendship just bloom beautifully. then came Amat :).

in my first year degree, moved to cyberjaya. and Lyn was my roommate . never saw her before in malacca. we became close while jastina was still in malacca. once she get to cyber, 3 of us just bonding like hell. and came zatie as another roommate for lyn and me. gedek came into picture when he started dating zatie. then came afiq as our ups n down buddy. hmmm i think afiq came first then zatie and gedek,okay whatever doesnt matter anyway.

so for the 1st time ever, mlm smlm kitaorg rasa 8 tahun berkawan ini adalah sgt bermakna. normally, we dont really being matured to each other, stiap kali pun mmg talk craps and having fun sbb dah tak larat nak being matured kat tmpt keje and talk about serious stuff. catching ups things and ungkit balik kisah2 lama mase kat mmu dulu contohnya kisah ikan bawal 3 rasa and kailan yg dah hampir 3 thn tp masih lg diungkit olh mereka2 ini yekkk. okay kenapa saya rasa sangat bermakna. sbbnya ntahla, mungkin kerana all of us sgt supportive to each other kot. the moment i told Jas in the car when we headed to fetch Lyn at office about im going to take sewing class and my plan to start my baju kurung business in small scale, she was like extremely excited and trus "okay kau jahit semua baju kurung aku, nak pakai g ofis kata keje government" and yes i know she really want baju kurung tahap yg sgt byk. so i dah dpt one customer indeed dah buat contract utk jd her tailor sampai Jas pencen nanti :p. sbnrnya, not only Jas , Lyn pun dah cop saya siap2 utk jahit baju her daughter, Adel ! and Dayah too, siap ckp simpankan kain utk si comel Huda supaya aku blh jahit. owhh saya rasa sgt hebat ahahaa, okay adibah silalah berusaha dgn bersungguh2.

hmm and then actually all of us dah start buat business sendiri. masa tgh makan, they ask me about what is my birthday resolution, good one la, normally org akan tanya what is your birthday wish. SEE bdk2 tu mmg dah makin matang, birthday wish dah tuka jd birthday resolution hahaha... so aku n jas serentak duk ckp MENINGKATKAN TARAF HIDUP BUKAN SAHAJA DEPEND KAT DUIT MAKAN GAJI SAHAJA. maka trus mereka sorang2 ceritakan business yg derang dah start huhu.

Lyn actually dah start buat business online baju2 baby since last year, but stop for awhile sbb Adel dah lahir! sgtlah sokong apabila dia start business ini , siap aku sanggup jd kuli and drive utk hantarkan barang2 perniagaan die kesana kemari :d.and skrg dia and haikal tgh focus kaw kaw business properties mereka. sgt hebat okay, siap dah ade one property lg. Gedek and Jastina mmg kaw2 sgt berminat dgn penerangan Lyn, which is so economic mmg confirm2 aku x blh digest. aku mmg fail la bab2 banking, loan related ,lyn terang 20 kali pun confirm aku x paham2 jua.

Jastina plak, mmg sgt aktif okay berbusiness dgn adiknya Jastini. online business mereka sgt hebat, siap aktif bukak booth kat UKM bagai. and aku n lyn pun, adalah pembeli tegar mereka. siap 3 of us ade baju butterfly yg sama yg sgt fashionista sampai masuk majalah Remaja tu beb hahaha. and Jas being her, die buat satu lagu business iaitu wedding ...... :p.yg ni mmg aku tau die mmg blh making profit kaw kaw , kata her expertise ! once dia allowed me to reveal apa yg dia buat , i will help to promote her side business , bukan dgn calang2 org you ! hehehe

Gedek, dah tau moto hidup die, buat sahaja business yg mendatangkan duit. Sgtlah aktif gtu berbusiness, and mmg die semangat gila bila tau lyn pun dah aktif dlm properties, sungguh matang perbincangan mereka aku rasa mcm nak tertido sahaja :p. and Gedek mmg byk buat side business lain hmmmm.

Si Zatie, always being the spoilt one among us pun :p, rupa2nya tlh menjinakkan diri di dlm Cosway punye business. wpun in fact kakak aku n mak Lyn pun aktif cosway, tp bak kata Jas mesti kena support each other, so beli sajalah cordial air Cosway from Zatie :p. at least everyone support each other , that matters most. Tp rugi smlm sbb takde Amat n Afiq je, and yes derang pun mmg dah start into business world pun.

eventough derang make fun and create stories kunun2 nanti aku jahit baju sengetla, baju x smpt siap la, take 4 years nak siapkan baju la bla bla bla tp semua pun mcm okay nanti nak tempah ngan kau, wow adalah sgt best. alamak mcm sgt tak sabar. maybe ade org akan ckp, ala class pun x start lg, dah ckp berdegar2 and berangan mcm2. its okay, for me saja je nak tau feedback kwn2 when i told about my plan. to recieve supporting words from people around me is really comforting and inspiring. at least to remind me that, people already trust you, so its either you really want to do it or not je. so i choose to do it.

actually, i ade buat satu side business , it has been a year already. the only friend yg tau about this is Alyna, coz we are doing business together :). that is why saya selalu balik ke rompin, dan berulang alik ke temerloh. but hmmm not ready to reveal it yet. tgkla bila2 then i will tell you about what kind of business yg i buat dgn alina. yg plg best both of our parents pun sgt supportive and positive about this. berkat alina pegi mekah skrg ni, harap2 mmg sgt cemerlang laa business ni.

im glad semua org buat something from their passion. i really think it is important to have a skill, that is why i chose sewing. coz i love fashion, clothes, clothes and clothes. so to know how to sew is important baby !. like everyone else, ada photography skill, buat duit guna skill mereka mcm apitt, mcm eita yg buat cupcakes sgt sedap , sgt best okay aku rasa. so i think its time for me to stop being a watcher :).

okay adibah, kalau kau hangat2 tahi ayam sahaja, silala malu kerana engkau tlh mengwar2kan impian kau ini kepada org ramai jua di dalam blog anda (this is the reason why i wrote about this in my blog :) )

when i felt like i am still his 10 years old little daughter

2009-12-31T03:56:00.002+08:00

today, went to Mersing with my beloved father. As far as i remember, almost 10 years i didnt go there. Mersing is actually my mom;s hometown. Not really her hometown but the place where she grown up.

i remember, when i was still in primary school. i always follow my father to Mersing to accompany him to settle his work and stuff. actually, today was more like, i spent quality time with my father. i dont really follow my father to go to other places since im working. normally what i would do is, if none of siblings volunteered to accompany them to go places or events especially involve relatives, then with full heart i will go joint them.

now as i grow older and being independent since im working, i always do things own my own even when im at my hometown. but today, when i called him and told him that I want to pay my car loan and asked where is the nearest ambank. he answered the nearest is at Mersing which almost 1 hour and half from rompin and he straight away said , jom pergi mersing. and that was the time i knew, how i really missed to get help from my father. asking his assistance, asking for his help, asking for his guidance. that was the time i realised, how my father is always be my father, he never change. I am the who change, who drifting apart from him, who thinks that im independent enough i dont need my father to help me or to be kind to me. deep inside my heart, i do feel that my father miss the old me too, coz i really do. the one always cling to him, the one who always cry when asking for help, the one who always need special attention from him, the spoilt brat ! i miss the old me but to go back to old me, i know i dont want it. i feel comfortable with what i am now.

after finished settled things at the bank, he drove around the town, all along the beach , the jetty, having beautiful evening view. told me about mom's stories when she lived there. told me about he still doing his monthly routine to Mersing for his work and stuff and will bring back superlicious beriyani that we used to eat since long time ago. that beriyani always be my parents fave food. owh my god, i miss this moment.

our journey today, what we talk in the car, special attention from him really makes me how luckly i am to have him as my father. this kind of things wouldnt be happen frequently because i dont live and stay with them now. going back once a month and only during weekend, i realised that how little time i spent my life with them now.

so to have this kind of moment with my father at this age, at this condition, thanks God that you still give me chance to feel like i am still his 10 years old little daughter.

the best ever holiday for this year

2009-12-31T02:53:00.004+08:00

let me tell you how i spent my year end holidays for 12 days :).

it's day 9 already and i don't really move from this couch in front of TV since day 1 hehee. it was crazily raining here in my place, makes me stucked in bed for very long hours without no one even bother. and when i wake up, mom's food always ready to be eaten :)

almost a week, that i dont really go out from this house. tell me who wants to go out in a gloomy weather, heavy rain and strong wind. fact that the only thing you would like to do is sleeping in comfy bed, eating hot and fresh homemade food, TV and couch, talking with families and connect to internet to catch up things :p! but there were times when mom needs something urgently for her cooking and father not around, then i need to go to buy things for her. or there were times when i dont really know where my father went, sometimes he did gone missing just like that :p, until i need to send my mom to mosque. it was really tengkujuh for the past 7 days and alhamdulillah the rain stop for awhile for 2 days .

since the sun finally out yesterday, i took the chance to go Kuantan for mental therapy. actually it is more that i need fresh air and need to see nature, beautiful weather and real world. miss my niece and nephews so much, i ended went back to rompin with my 2 nephew, culik skjp coz i need them to accompany me for my holidays :d. and Suede is really my new obsession , like seriously !

actually my parents suppose to go for umrah but their flight postponed until now. and seriously i really dont have any idea when is their new date for their flight. the tense is so high, but father being him always, assure mom that this is only ujian from Allah untuk menguji keimanan hamba2Nya.

hmmm i cant believe i did this. To be honest i dont open and access to office email AT ALL. its like i dont care and i really dont care. whatever will be will be , i will take care of everything once im back. and it feels really goodddddddddddddddddd that i dont have to think about anything related to office work. and my engineers being so good, i didnt recieve any operation call related so far from them. giving so much for the whole year, i just need this 2 weeks to shutdown everything in order to kick back for the new year. so do azril and dayah hahaha, semua org mcm dah tak sedar diri melupakan office dgn hebatnya.

i feel so good, really good, now i really feel the vibe to start to work again. cant wait to be on track again, to perform, to deliver, to show my ability and to always do my best.

owh anyway, watch out my NEW style for 2010 hehehe.

Terkadang Tuhan sembunyikan matahari,dia turunkan hujan Kita menangis mencari di mana matahari..rupanya Allah mahu menghadiahkan kita pelangi

2009-11-22T22:46:00.002+08:00

byk sungguh dugaan hidup skrg, konflik hidup, konflik dgn kereta, konflik career tapi alhamdulilah. itu tandanya Tuhan masih menyayangi aku. my father is right, aku sendiri yg kena muhasabah balik diri aku sendiri. probably there were a lot of mistakes in life, or to people or to My Lord yg aku buat without even noticed it. dugaan yg aku face skrg not everything is bad, I still recieved a lot of good news. tandanya even skrg aku rasa mcm hidup penuh dilema, dont know what to decide, cant even think wisely and clearly, confuse all the times now but still apa yg berlaku kepada aku adelah sbnrnya dugaan yg kecil sehaja compare dgn berjuta2 makhluk Allah di atas bumi ini. haritu I told my friend yg aku ni bernasib malang, and he told me that aku ni tak bersyukur lansung and i guess he is right. aku mcm dah terlalai dgn apa yg dipanggil qada' and qadar. to be here today at my home with my parents and my family, i really think now it is the time for me, to slow down a bit in every aspect in my life and focus back to the BASIC of life.

i came across this article : kekadang hati merintih derita, jiwa menangis sedih, akal mengeluh letih, namun hakikat hidup tak akan berubah, yg perlu diubah adalah diri yg menghadapinya..hati memilih jalan, akal memulakan langkah & iman meluruskan arah..Moga kasih Allah bersamamu..

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, ampunila dosaku ini.

Our Year End Potluck

2009-11-22T20:29:00.002+08:00

it was like every week, soalan wajib yg akan ditanya : bila nak jumpa ? almost every month mcm tu percubaan utk our get together start dgn kisah Zul ajak makan mee goreng kat rumah die , tp cam every week ade je org yg not available. Mail loop chain cam berjuta2 gtu, utk mengupdate gossip dan pelbagai cerita mak nenek tp duduk ckp sambil layan makan , lg hebat kot :p.

this circle of friends, i get to know them since 3 years ago. a group of friends that i met when i first enter working world and suprisingly up until now, even most of all heading to other directions, we still keep in touch, still close like we used to do, still bonding like we meet everyday, still talk at the same frequency and we still talking about the same thing again and again :d. even there is always "drama" and "drama" and "drama" among us, but for me it is worth million life to still be friends with them because after all humans are not perfect. we come with a package, the good side and the bad side, positive and negative, yin and yang. and if we thought we are right and they are wrong, we just wasting the beautiful things in life. it just the matter that every people is different and not maksum, so you better accept the fact and live life to the fullest.

someone, our fatherly figure :p always make sure that there is always a get together between us since most of us not working in the same place anymore, our annual bersahur @ william, annual berbuka @ KGPA makan kambing golek, annual bbq, annual trip to redang, monthly dinner kat Nurima yg sampai skrg aku x tau mcm mana nak pegi lg, annual, monthly event whatever shit lagi la. actually diaorg semua ni sgt poyo okay mcm tu hehehe . tempat2 mesti tak nak berubah, cam kalau dinner, mesti kat NURIMA tak blh ke tempat lain. kalau bersahur mesti kat William, and kalau berbuka mesti kat KGPA. okay this is so lame. we are very old fashioned , die hard fan tempat2 ini sekian terima kasih.

so since skrg asyik hujan, so kitaorg plan to do potluck. and tuan rumah adalah Kak Yah once again. Hopefully next year blh buat dekat rumah aku mcm kita buat sahur 3 years ago :p. Cam sgt happy jumpa semua org. A lot of things to catch up and to tell. Honestly, saya sgt terhutang budi kepada mereka2 ini. Somehow i always feel that, my worklife has been influenced by them. Up until now, they are always be my personal consultant when it comes to work related. I trust their judgement better compare to others. It is true.

Coz they knew me when i was still an EMPTY GLASS, 3 years ago. They always give me guideline, advise, support me even they talk craps most of the time. Always give me sincere opinion and aku selalu menjadi mangsa kutukan terhebat everytime pun. And now even i think i already a big girl now, still aku slalu looking forward pada opinion mereka. It sounds lame but yes, I DO THAT.

owh potluck smlm adalah best . cuma bengang dgn org yg tak confident blh dtg pukul 6 , NO WONDER LA.

There is no place like here

2009-11-22T16:29:00.003+08:00

sunday evening at a place called here. where my heart always is.

Despite being warned by my Old Man that he strictly didnt allowed me to go back after i fetched my sister at KLIA, alhamdullilah my sis and me safely reached Rompin around 3.30 am. Luckily my brother already at home, so we called him and asked him to open the door without making any noise and we silently refreshed ourselves and went to bed. The next thing i knew, my mom wake me up after she came back from mosque and with a very happy voice she said " balik jugak awak rupanya ".

And the fact that my father was so suprised to see my car at our garage when they wanted to go to mosque for subuh prayer and told my mom, mmg degil sungguh budak ni. Owh saya mmg sgt kecik hati dgn ayahanda kerana mase potluck beliau telah call dan dgn suara yg sungguh garang, tdk membenarkan saya balik mlm itu jugak. So utk tdk memanjangkan episod kekecewaan dan kemarahan ayahanda kerana tdk memenuhi larangannya, I pun dgn baik budi told my mom i will cook lunch for today. Iaitu adalah ikan bawal 3 rasa, sayur campur and ikan kerisi panggang. But masak adalah utk diri sendiri je mcm tu kerana parents adalah pergi makan kenduri kahwin so silala masuk bakul angkat sendiri je dgn masakan sendiri. Tapi sgt cinta dgn ayah saya walaupun i know he really mad at me, tp utk breakfast, kuih Bom kegemaran ade terhidang di atas meja :d. Cinta pada mak yg tersayang juga, kerana masakkan mee kari for breakfast sampai still blh makan utk makan petang sbb menu makan petang adalah goreng pisang which is the only makanan traditional yg saya tak makan, silala lempang diri sendiri mcm tu. Dahla pisang tu ayah yg tanam sendiri kat kebun, and sgtlah berbuah dgn hebatnya tapi saya tak pernah merasa makan kerana ntahla tak suka. jemput pisang blhlah makan, sedap gila okay.

so kisah drama suka drive malam2 balik ke rompin akan berterusan pada khamis ini juga... dah mcm neverending issue between father and me. skrg plak mcm dah mmg suka hati aje, whenever i feel like going back to rompin, i just drive my car, heading to this place. Tak kisahla saturday evening ke, sunday ke. and then sesuka hati balik smula KL dgn menggelabahnya subuh2 hr isnin, pukul 6 mcm tu drive balik ke KL kerana adalah terpaksa keje. I know it really makes my parents worry, coz most of the time i travelling alone and its not really a short journey, it tooks 4 hours drive and I definitely wouldnt talk about the road, bla bla bla :d. and everytime kalau saya decide nak balik subuh Isnin trus ke office, my mom never failed to provide me breakfast. I know it really makes my parents worried but well i dont know, probably i should learn how to listen, sometimes.

weather here in Rompin,it is so peaceful. its cloudy all day, and heavy wind because my house is so near to the beach and i feel really lazy and my mind is so empty right now. i really feel at ease. i want to continue writing about a lot of stuff, i know im going to write few entries today, but now i really feel I want to have a walk to the beach so be right back !

jya ne

another new thing for me

2009-10-11T13:31:00.002+08:00

hellooo hehehe. i nak cerita satu kisah yg i felt really was a very much new experience for me. and rasa sgt bes gila.

yesterday, went to PD straight away from Kuala Kangsar. reached there around 6 pm and the vibe there was like happening gila because of Bagan Pinang by election . My bro's house dekat Teluk Kemang so tau tau je la kan. nak dijadikan cerita , sblh rumah abg aku tlh disewa olh Pas Pulau Pinang jd bilik gerakan mereka, so lglah cam happening gila kat kawasan perumahan tu. the main markas Pas actually mmg betul2 tepi jalan after the roundabout mmg jammed gila and sgtlah happening. PR supporters actually gathered there for last minute campaign , gave posters, flag, magazine bla bla bla. most of the cars that passed by the markas actually akan bunyikan Honk to show their support to the party :d. mcm ade satu sepanduk kat tepi jalan tu tulis " bunyikan hon jika anda sokong kami" something like that.

bila sampai rumah my brother, mmg siap ade lori peralatan, kereta dan ramai gila org PAS kat situ . wow mcm looks like kitaorg ni gila pembangkang okay, me likey likey :d. mcm dah kecoh gila2 kat situ. my brother need to send my mom back to hometown, so i was there until mereka semua gerak balik ke rompin. tp aku masih lg stuck kat rumah tu sbb cam kat astro ade plak citer best, Mabuk Estrogen ke tajuk die mcm tu la , vee memey and sheila rusly berlakon cam layan gila la pulak kan. my brother and mom dah bising suruh aku balik awal skit ke KL.. well biasalah mcm mlm smlm pun aku janji dgn abg ku akan sampai PD dlm pukul 12 lbh sbb ade hal lepas kerja, tp aku sampai rumah pun dah cam kul 12 and letih gila, tertido and sedar2 kul 4 pagi trus bgn and drive ke PD kerana takut kena marah sbb kena gerak ke kuala kangsar subuh2 huhuhu. abg aku dahla hmmm x pernah2 plak die pesan supaya carefull kat highway PD tu , cam when i asked why die ckp ala, byk org kan, nak pilihanraya cam takut ade apa2 terjd je (later aku cerita kenapa sbnrnya die pesan mcm ni huhu). so dlm kul 11 mcm tu aku and my sister pun gerakla nak balik KL. tp jalan mmg sumpah jem gila tak ingat, and bila sampai je markas pas tu , tgh dgr org berucap and adik aku pun trus cam alamak anwar anwar , anwar tgh berucap and kiri kanan jalan mmg like hell la org dgn sepanduk segala, org2 PR la of course. dahla derang siap buat gerai segala tepi jalan tu, btul kat MARINA PD. aku pun trus cam jom turun okay. so kitaorg park kereta and turun and joint the crowd. okay polis pun dah byk gila, sumpah sbnrnya aku cuak gila and aku pun x pernah joint bende2 mcm ni sbnrnya, alamak cam mana kalau kena tangkap, kena lempang 20 juta tahun mcm tu dgn ayah aku okay. bila kitaorg g tmpt org berucap tu sbnrnya cam bukan anwar ibrahim pun , ntah chinese but he looks like anwar la, org DAP kot tgh bg speech , bla bla bla kat markas Pas tu sumpah happening gila. so kitaorg lepak jap kat tmpt DAP punye org bg speech , then browse around stall yg byk gila kat situ. tgk sticker, baju , jaket and all la. dkt tepi kiri kanan jalan mmg ramai gila org, so kitaorg pun joint crowd kat tepi jalan, last minute campaign . okay sumpah really a totally new experience for me. okay saya tak pernah joint aktiviti2 mcm ni, last campaign pun cam kat MRSM dulu la kot, utk BWP.

Dahla sbnrnya agak pelik sbb not much perempuan pun kat situ, kalau ade pun semua muslimat PAS yg pakai jubah and tudung labuh, tba ade aku and adik aku dgn pakai jeans and t shirt bodoh gila, tudung selepang cam saiko gila. but derang cam ntah buat biasa je mcm tu. mcm stand by the roadside, joining the crowd , tengok gelagat semua org kat situ mcm kelakarla. Mcm2 okay perangai orang ni sbnrnya. Actually we were about to move dah, tp dan dan la plak ade announcement ckp KJ and the gang akan lalu kat kat situ, and tba2 byk gila polis trafik datang and jaga traffic. mmg mase tu mmg lagi ramai gilala org2 PR ni berkumpul tepi jalan, siap cam buat strategy lg apa nak buat mase konvoi KJ lalu , gila saiko okay tapi mmg kelakar. Then bila konvoi derang lalu je, ya allah selama ni cam tgk kat TV skrg mcm experience real life gila . 3 4 wheel drive mmg cermin gelap gila lalu mmg derang semua trus duk serbu okay, gilaaaaaaaa. cam kejadian tu betul2 depan mata aku sbb aku mmg berdiri di tempat cam bdk2 laki umur sebaya aku mcm tu , sbb cam side sana skit, golongan org2 tua yg berkumpul. Cam derang pergi kerumun okay kereta puak2 tu, cam aku freak out gila, polis yg jaga mmg halau kaw kaw, pastu dgn takbir kedengaran disana sini ... dgn derang semua boo segala .. cam sumpah ahhh aku mmg speechless. tapi derang cam acah2 aje, gila poyo okay org2 dlm kereta KJ tu cam yarrr ko ingat kau best ke? pastu derang let konvoi tu pergi and sekelip mata trus polis2 traffic td bla mcm tu je. padahal traffic kat stu mmg kronik gila okay. WTH. cam derang berjaga kat stu semata2 sbb konvoi KJ nak lalu je... bloody hell gila. now I know apsal selalu berlaku pergaduhan okay sbb mende2 mcm ni la. kau yg buat provokasi , I meant as Police you should be fair to everyone, padahal org yg lalu lalang stuck dgn jammed tu adalah rakyat okay. cam can u treat us equally , sumpah polis2 traffic tu bla mcm tu , and jammed still like hell, then ade 3 4 org PR take over kawal lalu lintas kat stu.

hmmm actually sbnrnya anwar ibrahim mmg ade kat markas tu, mase kitaorg passed by before park kereta tu , mmg adik aku nampak anwar cuma mase kitaorg g kat tmpt stage tu die cam maybe miting kot. sbb mase kitaorg tgh diri tepi jln with other crowds tu, tba2 derang laung reformasi and bila ade sebuah mercedes lalu dia kluarkan muka and bdk2 kat tmpt aku tu mmg semua la kerumun kereta itu coz kereta anwar ibrahim rupanya . tp aku kan sengal sbnrnya aku x perasan pun padahal cam depan mata aku okay, lgpun aku terkejut sbb bdk2 tu semua duk kerumun kereta mercedes tu gila ke apa. haahaa okay terlepas lagi nak jumpa anwar.

mcm byk gila la perkara2 menarik yg berlaku , cam kalau ade kereta bmw or mercedes ade plak kerajaan kat plat kereta mmg confirm derang kaw kaw boo okay, jerit2 org bn mcm2 la. pastu PD kan cam ramai chinese, bila ade uncle2 cino yg drive kereta derang mcm, uncle honk uncle , so mcm cino2 tu cam layan kan aje. and derang cam sgt happy sbb ade respond.

then kalau mat2 rempit lalu pun, derang boo walaupun bdk2 tu bunyikan honk jugak sbb bg derang mat2 rempit semua BN coz pemuda umno kan ahli2 derang semuanya mat rempit. itulah bagai dikata oleh mamat PAS sblh kitaorg. pastu sbb cam kat berdiri tepi jalan, tba2 terover cam sampai dah terkeluar2 garisan putih jalan tu sbb over excited kan. pastu announcer mesti mcm, derang jerit ramai2... keluar Barisan (garisan tu derang ganti dgn Barisan :p) keluar barisan masuk pakatan, cam aku asyik gelak je kalau derang jerit2 mende tu. pastu cam banyak gila polis punye trak lalu tau, derang mmg kena boo kaw kaw kaw laa. cam ksian okay polis2 tu hahaha. ade satu time mula2 aku lepak kat situ, ade trak bomba lalu tau, tapi sbb mmg jammed so mmg slow gila la. pastu kan truck tu betul2 depan kitaorg, bdk2 tu siap jerit abg bomba, honk honk and plg best bomba tu bunyikan Hon okay cam mmg bdk2 tu gembira gila siap takbir segala hahaha. aduiiii.

tapi org2 pas ni ntah apa2 gak, sbb cam mmg segala maki hamun laa keluar , mencarut segala especially bila KJ konvoi tu lalu okay. sblh kitaorg ade uncle India, aku rasa die mayb org PKR kot, die sorang2 je, dia pun cam kitaorg asyik gelak je dgn gelagat semua org kat stu. die ckp die dtg dr luar utk have a look by election kali ni.

tp it was really a great experienced for me. cam kunun2 peraih undi and joint last minute campaign . actually they knew in the 1st place they are going to lose, cam kalau ikut dlm speech org DAP td but the spirit of fighting tu yg penting. cam bestla sbnrnya , not so bad experience. tp kalau ayah tau ni mungkin cam kena lempang mcm tu.

i love this experience really much, things that i WILL NEVER do in my hometown, definitely. aku end up lepak kat stu sampai pukul 1 lebih okay . mase aku balik tu mmg sumpah happening gila lagi, im not sure until what time derang kat situ lagi.

tapi plg mengFRUSTtratedkan aku adalah, i didnt bring my camera. itulah disadvantage asyik menukar handbag . and balasan sbb pergi ke PD dgn rushing gila pada pukul 4 pagi and terlupa bende2 yg sepatutnya saya bawak . tapi kitaorg ade bergambar kat markas Pas penang kat my bro;s house tapi guna kamera die lupa nak copy . tp experienced yg saya dpt cam priceless la. i dont think i will ever joint this kind of thing again in future :).

rasa nak sorok remote tv

2009-09-22T21:36:00.002+08:00

okay, i will never win this battle against my father.

my father, hobi terhebat die yg paling annoying adalah menonton tv. kadang2 sampai ke tengah malam okay. and the thing is selalu kena berebut tv okay. ayah x suka tgk drama melayu, drama cino ke, korea ke apaa2lah. satu2nya drama yg die layan adalah drama filiphina boleh? tu die layan tahap cipan ahh petang2. ... aku rasa baik tgk drama melayu dr tgk filem melayu sbb drama is more quality compare to film. kalau filem, fave director adalah tak lain dan tak bukan adalah Mamat Khaliddd hehe.

biasalah yg die tgk adalah forum2 di rtm, wrestling maniac yg sgt kronik, and the most annoying channel yg dia plg suka adalah APL ,Animal Planet yg alamak tlglah fahami minat anak2 anda.
Sebenarnya dr td aku sorok remote tv kat tingkat atas ni, supaya aku blh watch Pushing Daisies and Gossip Girl, sbb sisters yg lain dah book layan citer apa ntah. And after dinner, he was like mana remote tv atas? and i said, ntah tak tau. Die pergi bawah tanya orang lain, and adik aku pun naikla tlg carikan remote. Confirmla tak jumpa sbb aku dah sorok kan. But because he is my father, he knows thing well . He came to me and tunjuk tangan mintak remote from me coz he already knew in the 1st place yg aku dah sorok remote siap2 huhu. so terpaksa la bagi okay. takkan derhaka plak mcm tu pasal berebut tv. so now i end up online kan diri sendiri .

jom stalking life.

my 30 minutes today

2009-09-22T20:26:00.003+08:00

one thing about blogging is once you start to write, you just dont know how to stop.

would like to share kisah hari ni. actually i dont have anything to do. everything is so calm n peaceful, parents not at home, and other siblings eating and watching tv. petang td, after my previous entry, i went to the beach, 5 minutes from my house. plan gila nak mandi but get so frustrated sbb air pantai surut, so cam x happening je nak mandi. so i just sit there, memuji kebesaran Allah, I mmg sgt suka pantai dan pulau to the max ! it is so comforting u know , like total shutdown.

sebenarnya, hari ni I ikut parents pergi kenduri kahwin dekat Pekan. Pekan is actually my father's kampung la. Hmm cant recall well, tp mmg dah dekat bertahun2 aku x balik raya ke Pekan. Mmgla basically we all sambut raya di Rompin but after that my parents definitely will visit Pekan utk ziarah kubur Aki and Wan and raya till evening at father's old house. And every year, dialog pagi raya kitaorg anak beranak yg WAJIB adalah :

mak : sapa nak ikut mak pergi pekan ?
children : takpela, x nak ikut .

jawapan standard every year. tapi my mom every year pun still akan tanya. ntahla tak pernah berminat nak follow semenjak dah pandai ckp TAK NAK kan mmg tak nak terusla. im not really into my relatives hmm basically not only me, semua adik beradik okay. nak pergi sana mmg tak la, only if they come visit us kat rompin, we will definitely welcome them with open arms walaupun mcm sgt fake gila nak mampus mcm tu. Tetamu yg datang rumah, mmg kena dilayan dgn sgt hebatnya. Ayah wont allow us kalau buat air, hidang air O ,O means mcm tak blh buat teh o, or kopi O or apa2 la yg O dibelakang, kena buat air berteraskan susu melainkan guest tu sendiri cakap nak air teh o atau air suam sahaja. Air sirap pun is a big NO NO, kena bagi air orange sunquick, atau apa2la laici ade buah ke, cocktail ke janji bukan SIRAP bangang wpun sirap adalah sgt sedap okay, menghilangkan dahaga dgn hebatnya. kalau nak bagi tetamu minum air sirap, kena buat sirap bandung, something like that. Kena bagi makanan terbaik yg ada di rumah. Dan dengan pantasnya, at least kena bagi tetamu minum air dulu kalau makanan lambat lagi nak prepare. Tetamu apabila mereka balik dari rumah kita, dgn perasaan yg sangat senang dan gembira, die akan bawak keluar sekali sekala dosa keluar dari rumah . Ingat ye kawan2, maka marilah kita memuliakan org2 yg dtg ke rumah kita walaupun kita tdk berapa menyukainya. Note to myself.

Actually kenapa saya blh ikut parents pergi ke Pekan today sbb apa yek ntahla. Kesian kat mak dari pagi smlm,sbb asyik tanya semua orang nak ikut tak die pergi rumah sepupu ayah kenduri. Dua pupu I la kot yg kahwin. Tapi i x pernah kenal. My mom siap begging, jomla ikut mak, kenal saudara mara tapi semua buat tak tahu. So i pun cam okla blh ikut, blh makan nasi minyak. Huhu padahal first day raya, menu utama adalah nasi minyak. Perjalanan dr Rompin ke Pekan adalah 50 minit je. Yg plg best bila sampai kat rumah sepupu ayah adalah mcm trus makan , salam2 n balik , 30 minit je okay hahaa. okay sgt bes, sbb my parents terpaksa rush balik ke rompin ade hal . dahla aku siap nak pitam sbb cam nak muntah, ntahla apa masalahnya. 30 minit di Pekan, i cant really remember nama n faces sepupu ayah tu. tak sempat okay busy makan lg. but i think i can remember where is his house. so next time, blh pergi (owhh sgt poyo).

sbnrnya kitaorg adik beradik, bkn tak nak rapat dgn uncle and aunties,cousins and other relatives. It just that too many things happen so we decide just to stay away from them. get sick with their attitude and memang betul2la semua org adalah anak ayah, semua orang ikut perangai die. we just dont bother and dont care. we are loyal people. just like my father.

okay BRB again, parents dah balik masjid. nak dinner and watchh Pushing Daisies and Gossip Girl . xoxo

kisah sesat balik ke kampung halaman

2009-09-22T16:34:00.002+08:00

haruskah saya masih lagi sesat utk balik ke kg halaman. balik kampung on thursday night, after berbuka around 8 pm something together with my younger sister and brother, another person was my bro's friend, bdk final year from sabah yg x balik ke sabah beraya. So this year, our family will going to celebrate raya with additional one person :d.

actually highway seremban tak jammed lansung, clear gila mmg xde kereta maka disebabkan itula saya hanya drive di fast lane sahaja, sbb lps tu takkan jumpa highway dah, hanya jumpa jalan kampung maka amik kesempatan la utk menjimatkan masa perjalanan. i suppose to take senawang exit from the highway. hmmm tba2 di keheningan malam ramadhan tu, i was like apsal tak jumpa2 simpang senawang ni lagi. confuse sorang2 dulu, then tba2 terjumpa signboard, carefull kawasan angin lintang bla bla bla, then linggi, rembau exit and aku pun menjerit dgn tba2nya "alamak dah terlepas simpang senawang" and cam menggelabah sebentar walaupun dlm kereta ade ramai orang mcm tu. trus terpk alamak kena masuk melaka, then the only place yg i tau kat melaka adalah Bukit Beruang mase study foundation kat MMU dulu. aku pun trus je drive and tba2 terjumpa " Selamat Datang ke Melaka" and i was like memang mampus, kat mana nak exit ni. Gila apa kena lalu melaka dulu baru nak sampai rompin. So my brother suggest to stop to one of the RNR, kitaorg pun stop, and the first person i tried to call was my bro in law coz die keturunan org melaka. maka call Abg Nuar, alamak tak balik terawikh la pulak. Then try to reached my brother kat PD and alamak apsal semua org tak balik terawikh lagi ni. Tiba2 rasa lost and mcm nak nangis pun ade, i CANT call my father sbb confirm macam kena marah kot. lagipun my father buat terawikh 20 rakaat n sambung dgn tadarus make biasa die akan balik rumah dlm kul 12 lbh erkk. That is why in the first place aku x call dia pun. dahlah dia sgt benci setiap kali kalau aku decide nak travel malam2 ni, Pantang dalam kehidupan die okay, tp mcmmana benci dan marah pun die, aku tetap jugak balik mlm. Ntahla mmg mempunyai ciri2 anak derhaka sungguh, bila ntah mahu berubah huhu. Maka dapat balasan siap2 di dunia, dgn sesat tdk berjumpa signboard Senawang huhu.

So sbb mcm call semua org tak dpt, adik aku n his friend pergi ask ade pakcik kat stu, tanya camna nak u turn balik ke KL, exit paling dekat. Adik aku ckp pakcik tu kata dlm 30 km lagi akan jumpa Simpang Empat, then amik kiri, masuk tol and ade round about and i was like sejak bila plak highway ade simpang empat. Confuse gila okay, tapi cam redha je la dgn instruction pakcik tu, and tba2 aku ternampak satu signboard exit Simpang Ampat and aku pun confuse sorang2 lagi, simpang empat or Simpang Ampat nama tempat yg pakcik ni maksudkan and saya mmg sungguh confuse okay di malam ramadhan yg mulia itu , and dgn penuh tawakal I pun masukla exit Simpang Ampat tu and trus u turn balik ke KL. mcm wasting 1 hour kat stu arghhh gila tension. and all the way back to Rompin, hati memang tak sedap je.

Saya mmg begitu, kalau mula2 nak start travel ade skit hal2 yg tdk diiingini berlaku, keinginan utk mengcancelkan perjalanan adalah sgt hebat okay, kerana biasalah ade sedikit cuak jugak dahla malam. and being the eldest in the car, lglah cam kena take responsibility kaw kaw punye, kalau tak dgrlah leteran ayah aku sepanjang hidup mcm tu huhu. Tapi aku mmg khayal level 5 mase drive, pikiran ntah ke mana, thats why blh terlepas simpang senawang tu. So after this, dont khayal and drive :d.

Actually kan, i thought my parents dont know about this. So sampai je rumah almost 2 am, rasa macam bersalah pulak, my father still awake waiting for us. That moment, i swear to myself dah tak nak balik ke rompin dr KL malam2, kesian pulak kat ayah n mak yg tak akan tidur selagi tak sampai tapi kalau emergency mmg confirmla aku trus balik walau pukul berapa pun kan. Ayahku seperti biasala tidak akan bercakap dgn aku kan,kalau aku buat perangai mcm ni huhu. Dalam pukul 3 am, my parents bersiap2 nak g buat qiamulail kat masjid, mase tu la mcm nak tercerita jugak kat diaorg, so aku pun cerita je la kisah sesat. ceih rupanya my parents dah tau pun coz abg ku sudah menceritakannya. and Ayah pun terus bersuara ckp sepatutnya blh sampai awal sejam, bla bla bla okay okay takpe janji I sampai okay. So jgn marah2 ya father, always be good to your daughter yahh :).

Sebenarnya aku start travel malam2 ni bulan puasa ni je. Haruskah aku seberani ini ketika bukan di bulan puasa haha. Confirm ah tak kan. Well for those who dont know, 4 jam perjalanan balik ke kampung, 3 jam adalah kiri kanan adalah kawasan hutan sahaja, HUTAN okay cam ladang kelapa sawit la, ladang getah, hutan hutan dan hutan lagi . cam kalau kereta breakdown ke or apa2 la perkara2 yg tdk diingini berlaku (owhh touchwood), silalah meraung dan histeria sahaja di tepi jalan kerana sgt takut okay, gelap okay and actually tak byk kereta pun yg byk lori, kalau luck jumpalah road block polis huhu. Boleh mintak pertolongan polis.

alamak, ade org bagi salam .phew lucky father is at home hehehe. BRB

dont make me walk when i want to fly

2009-09-06T00:56:00.007+08:00

hello .

few of my close friends feel hurt because they thought they are no more in my grand circle of friends. The grand circles that the numbers, getting smaller and smaller each and every day, i lost count . It is pathetic right that I actually count how many friends that I have. They think that is why they didnt get the invitation from me to view my blog. but the fact is , i just stop blogging. its nothing personal, i just feel sick and i dont really have energy and thought or ideas what to write or to share.

im out of town again this week. for the past 3 weeks, my weekend i dedicated to my parents. went back hometown every week and honestly i really feel exhausted, long drive all by myself in fasting months, i hope you understand how it feel, its bloody tiring, but the fact that it brings happiness to them, i know i shouldnt complaint. and i am realised how good I am as a daughter :). i know my driving skills is never be good like others. but as long as i safely reached hometown and safely arrived back to KL, thats matter to me the most and to my parents.

anyway, im blogging this from my hotel room . i just attend evening's class, and decided to skip my night class coz it started quite late at 10 pm, and my body just doesnt want to move out from bed. the last class is tomorrow morning and i dont know whether i can wake up at 8 am or not to be able to joint the class. But what is the purpose im driving all the way to this place from KL but end up, getting nothing. I know i should force myself to get out from this room tomorrow. I will try my best. I really wanted to sleep now, but eyes just dont want to close.

I really hope my morning class will finish on time so I can reach KL before 4 pm. Nak go baazar nak beli char kuey tiaw hehe. Buffet kat hotel ni td, ade kerang rebus and i ate it crazily. Looking to eat kerang since my trip to Phuket with Alyna last 2 months, and so frust coz they dont have kerang in their menu. i was sad.

this following weekend, i must make sure i will be in KL ! i need to buy "gifts" for myself hehe.

Against all odds

2009-03-29T11:04:00.002+08:00

im closing down this blog. Have a nice day.